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HomeSatireThen they 'woke' me up.. - a lucid satire

Then they ‘woke’ me up.. – a lucid satire

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Law abiding citizen. Love to write and voice opinion on socio political divergence. Food enthusiast. Football fanatic. Electronics Engineer by qualification, traveller by passion..

“The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.”
Daniel J. Boorstin

I’ll be honest I’m no good at analogies but how do you reckon if it’s legit until u make one..right? The movie Parasite is one I can draw parallels with. This one film deemed ‘wet dreams of orgasmic proportions’ for critics and masses alike. Now don’t get me wrong..it was, in every way, magnificent and will be considered great for years to come..BUT and that’s a big ass but (no pun intended) is this the only flick that deserved all the overly pretentious love and enforced cloud of selectiveness. The dearth of competent films, off course, cemented its place up top but no one talks about how equally good our own local films like ‘Kumbalangi Nights’ and ‘Aamis-The Ravening’ had been. It’s this infatuation towards a particular affair and stupefaction to others equally important that we’ll try and emphasize here. Delays aside, time to address the elephant in the room. As we try and dig deeper to this behavior collectively, I would like to break it up into attributes that reeks of double standards and gleefully patronizing every so often. Arguably, an ‘orderly chaotic’ conduct is the most relatable oxymoron one can think of.

Note: Inside jokes won’t be spoon-fed with.

Vilification thousandfold

A govt., in its extensive tenure, is liable of making mistakes. The hysteria as a response in our country is laughable though. A little mishandling of situations and there’s a mass frenzy next up, spamming your timeline. And off course there’s these vultures always looming out for some negative news to feast on. The balancing nature of these chaps revolve around overthinking and over presenting anything that gives meaning to the circumstance. Narratives are sold faster than ever and wokes are drawn to it like moth to fire.

Every conflicting argument with these posers meet the same fate and that of a template called “Modi is a fascist, you are a bhakt” which seriously has reduced every comebacks to nothing. They have set up the premise and hyped it so much that I think whenever Modi appears, the dictator tune “dada dada da aladeen madafaka” automatically hits their karaoke. Ok let us, for a moment, assume that modi is this sinister, mass murdering, totalitarian psychopath that they all project with ball’s to the wall abomination, then how in the world do you walk in one piece after you rip into him black and blue relentlessly. Seriously? I cannot think of a more surreal situation than a guy slapping a grizzly bear and then making a dab to its face.

Art as a propaganda

“If it ain’t broke why fix it?” is my school of thought and with a heavy heart, I gotta say that this subject is broken beyond repair. Gone is the antiquity, when artists were like saints and kept themselves from involving in politics. In this era of downfall, you can easily cross path with a couple of them brainwashing pigs. Contemplating most of their line of work, I stumble into a whole passage of twisted, half cooked n misled facts. Kunal kamra, the bulimic comedian infamous for all wrong reasons, recently released an interview with BJP MP Tejaswi Surya wherein he used uncooked facts just to belittle the guest. He was then confronted by an internet historian True Indolology who literally had to pull up facts to substantiate his claim. For a moment, imagine the kind of malign that feeds into the mind of those viewers who certainly might’ve enjoyed the content but on the long run, developed that sense of hatred at someone’s expense. “Humor, off course, doesn’t kill the gaffer but it’s the hoodwink with small dosages of venom that seeps it’s way into his drink”. And Not to blow off the domino effect that is to follow. Same is the case with authors and filmmakers, pouncing on every other opportunity to defame or even glorify real life subject matters in the garb of symbolism and metaphor.

Fun fact: speaking of symbolism, when the song “Azaadi” plays in the opening scene of Gully boy, the lead Murad is shown stealing cars. Lol. The farce is crying out loud fellas !!

Then there is freedom of speech, which in itself is pretty subjective. Should there be a threshold limiting the same? I don’t know. Having said that, only thing I’d like to add – nobody gets to disrespect, exploit someone’s decency or even mistake it for ‘right to abuse’.

Minority appeasement

As covid-19 cases in Assam mounts to 29 and counting (as of 10th April), almost all of them are directly linked to Tablighi Jamaat event in Nizamuddin Delhi. What’s so daunting if the indigenous people are straight of the shoulder calling out what was clearly a negligence by a certain community. Not surprisingly, the backlash from the pseudo liberal lobby as usual, was uncalled for.

Orthodox from every religion are assholes of highest order no denying. The biases strike when a fringe hindu group does something as stupid as drinking cow piss or smear cow dung onto their faces. Gaumutra jibes follow suit for weeks, naming and shaming the entire religion. I’M HINDU I’M ASHAMED placards flashed all over. All I long for is the same intensity from these “free thinkers” when a maulvi says Corona is Allah’s doing on kafirs and nothing touches those who offer namaz 5 times a day. When corrected, the affirmative justice certainly, is either in the form of poor monkey balancing or you’ll be tagged islamophobe if it’s your lucky day(which in most cases it is).

I have said it before, I’ll say it again “there’s no concept of minority in India”. What was started as a well planned spiel by the British, nurtured by communists through course of history, sadly still runs strong, all thanks to politicians and separatists. Trajectory to give moral high ground to the minority has given rise to many anarchy like circumstances almost every time leaving government at the losing end of negotiation. To boot, riots turned into pogroms overnight to politicize and reinforce the victim angle.
When Guru Ram Rahim of Dera scandal was nabbed and riots broke out, shoot at sight was imposed without a second thought. But when arsons were ravaging the streets of Delhi in the aftermath of anti CAA protests, the govt. couldn’t gather balls to call something as stern..why?? coz they know a demon called secularism will pounce on to bite in the ass if they do.

The state of utopia these so called intellectuals live in is so deep that they clearly lost the plot and its perhaps the reason why they can’t see things in black and white. Figuratively speaking, they’re all wise old men, the kind of specimen who wouldn’t bat an eyelid to any news “coz they run agendas”, but then ironically fall captive to few. Debunking the same theory, however, is a stockholm syndrome so strong for someone with catchphrase like “kaun jaat ho bhai?”

I’m a centrist

“Bigotry doesn’t come with a badge but it isn’t like farting next to the waterfall either”. Here’s the thing with one of my friend – Quite often he appears to be deeply stung by “cruelty to muslims” and reflects so to his ‘Instagram story’. Before I could even empathize, in the very next story you spot him having a lavish dinner at a luxurious hotel. Believe me, that FACEPALM was my biggest till date. Tell me if this is not an acute level of virtue signaling then what in dunya is. Problem is, it doesn’t stop here.. a short stint on many PR activism goes on to show peoples vested interests and cynical motives by political stooges. We have seen this time and again from Sabarimala to Aarey forests and many. For someone tweeting at a speed of 4 t/s from their studio “2bhk” apartments, this sickens me to core how insensitive one can be without knowing the grave of the situation. Oh and the flamboyance with which they claim validity for their daily dose of scoop is obnoxiously comic. I’d rather take life lessons from a crackhead than have my source of authenticity lie around selective fact checkers like Alt News and Dhruv Rathi.

With the ideology war stronger than ever, the tide has turned hard on someone like us who sometimes bat for the system. Even an opinion is enough to make them squeamish. Also in your argument be ready to be sabotaged by Political correctness which in my opinion is one of those passive aggressive act of snobbishness that people use a defensive tool to brandish they are aware..that they are woke.
Silver lining off course is there are still a couple of rationale people around, who puts equal weights on both sides of a weighbridge and are brave enough to call spade a spade. A little pat on the back for them.

Human mind is susceptible to various adaptive behaviors, the progression validating its advance out like a ballsack on a Friday. If nurtured properly, it can conquer the greatest of innovations but if shit were to go south, it may very well lead to absolute bastidicy. Hence, when life usher you with knowledge, be socially responsible and not just some I’ll tempered, foul-mouthed elitist eager to unleash caligula’s inferno.

You may have noticed that throughout this article all I’m highlighting is call for equality. Everyone’s outlook is their own entitlement and I have no problem whatsoever unless its partial, one that might as well sucker punch their own moral ethics. For me, I’m a jingoistic, overcritical, rude narcissist but will sooner perish than don the mantle of hypocrisy, someone who’d rather be liberated than loved. No, don’t call me the B word, not again, c’mon you’re better at it.

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Law abiding citizen. Love to write and voice opinion on socio political divergence. Food enthusiast. Football fanatic. Electronics Engineer by qualification, traveller by passion..
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