Monday, August 10, 2020
Home Satire An open letter to Arfa Khanum

An open letter to Arfa Khanum

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After my parents forced me to become an engineer, I forced them to buy me books. IITian.

Dear Arfa,

I hope this letter reaches you in its original shape. I am a bit wary of the heavy space-warping that you conjure about yourself. It might jumble my ‘words’ into a ‘sword’, which being a symbol of casteism, I am truly averse to.

Don’t get me wrong. I have only approbation for the way you pump air into flat shapes and balloon them up. Yes it’s a distortion — covered under freedom of expression, though — but a distortion more than which should not be expected of you. After all, a journalist of your renown must be preoccupied with reporting true facts to be also burdened with displaying true figures.

This clarification being done with, let’s proceed.

I might start by asking how you are. But the answer to it already being known, that you are in a bitter mood, I shall rather show camaraderie with you. That is, I too refuse to believe that Jamaatis would do such a thing, naked roaming and obscene gestures. For, does not your elegant logic that “I know them to be selfless individuals” demolish any inconceivable charge that they are indeed harassers? I think it does. Yes it does.

After all, it’s a simple truism that since you feel you know, you are right. As we are created in the image of an all-knowing God, we too are therefore all-knowing. To be deceived, to be in the wrong, is certainly alien to us humans.


Caesar was not deceived; he had estimated that his friend Brutus is going to kill him, yet he went along. What a fool. Nehru knowingly led us into a war with China, with a humiliating defeat as the repercussion. The conclusion is inescapable then, that hundreds of millions of our compatriots did not inadvertently vote BJP into power. They knowingly did so. My god, what a veritable dystopia this our country has become.

Moreover, we have more reasons to exonerate Jamaatis of the charges. In the end, it reduces to the veracity of the accusations made by the hospital staff. And we know only too well how our dear old Gandhiji reviled the whole modern medical set-up. Oh, how distrustful was he of them. He had foreseen these propagandists masquerading as illness experts. And, even if we fail to follow him, we cannot fail to at least agree with him. There there.

Enjoy. Continue to guide us through your thoughts and figures.

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After my parents forced me to become an engineer, I forced them to buy me books. IITian.

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