Namonomics to eliminate global poverty

The demonetization scheme, which the Indian Prime Minister Mr. Modi introduced last year on 8th November, 2016 has created numerous ‘Slumdog Millionaires’ in India. In the capital city of Gujarat province, Ahmedabad, the Income Tax Department sent out about 5000 notices to people, who made large cash deposits in banks during demonetization.

All these individuals had deposited cash much beyond their declared source of income as per their income-tax returns. 1500 persons did not reply to these income tax notices. When the income tax department sent its team to check their addresses, most of the houses were found located in slums and their owners had run away.

These people had deposited astronomical amounts like Rs. 4, 5 and 15 Crores into their accounts. Now, none of these individuals can be traced and the money deposited into their accounts has also disappeared. Multiple layers of RTGS (Real Time Gross settlements) transactions were created. The total amount was divided into smaller sums, which were then transferred to numerous accounts from the main account thereby creating a long chain of transactions.

The Income Tax Department says that they are highly under-staffed. A few of their officials fainted due to exhaustion, when examining the trail of such large bank account transactions. They have expressed their inability to do anything further in this regard.

Ahmedabad is not the only city, such news have been coming from all over India.

Prime Minister Modi is very happy. He said, “Friends, I declared in 2014, when I became the Prime-Minister of India, that I would make India the number one country in the world. Look, I have achieved this feat in less than 3 years. So, many poor people have become millionaires due to my brilliant scheme of demonetization”

Modi further said that he was going to make this demonetization exercise an annual affair in India so, that all poor people living in slums would get a chance to become millionaires.

Mr. Modi declared that this was his ‘skill India’ programme, wherein rich people would be standing at the door-steps of poor slum dwellers with folded hands and bags of cash to deposit into their accounts in return of 15-30% commission.

The new bank notes to be used in the country for a year would all be printed in India. This would take care of mission, ‘Make In India’, said Mr. Modi. The ex-prime minister of India, Mr. Manmohan Singh when contacted about his views on this issue, said that he couldn’t speak unless allowed by Miss Sonia Gandhi.

When prodded further, he said that Muslims have the first right on Indian resources so, all Muslims should be allowed to deposit as much cash into their accounts without any questioning. This resulted in an avalanche of responses from politicians belonging to different communities and regions of India.

Mamta Banerjee the Chief Minister of West Bengal declared; “Modi babu, yeah demonetization Bengal maeyy cholbaeey naa, hobaeey naa. Delhi government yeah Bengali ma mati manush kaeey saath korbaeey naa” (Mr.Modi, this demonetization scheme will not work in Bengal province. The Central government of Delhi cannot do this atrocity on the mothers, soil and men of Bengal).

Jats of Haryana declared that they also should be allowed to deposit unlimited money into their accounts since, their community members are farmers and soldiers. A prominent Jat politician declared, “If our demands are not met, we will block all the roads besides stopping the supply of milk to Delhi”

Gujjars from the adjoining province of Rajasthan threatened to sit-on the railway tracks and block the movement of all trains, if any Gujjar is asked questions regarding large-scale bank deposits.

In the Western province of Maharashtra, Shiv Sena, a regional political party has strongly demanded waiving off all requirements regarding bank deposits for the local ‘sons- of- soil’ Marathas.

Political leaders from various nations are keen to meet Mr. Modi regarding getting this unique poverty alleviation idea implemented in their countries.

United Nations invited Mr. Modi at its headquarters in New York to give a speech sharing the demonetization details with the whole world but Mr. Modi declined the invitation.

When asked about the reason for refusal. A source in the Prime Minister’s Office on strict condition of anonymity said; “Look, it is the dream of our Prime Minister to tour every country on this planet at least once during his term as Indian Prime Minister because then it’s free and Mr. Modi doesn’t need to spend any money from his own pocket. He has asked us to make a list of countries, where he hasn’t travelled yet and fix up his travel plans with the authorities of those nations. Now, that Mr. Modi has removed Indian poverty altogether. He can travel around the world to tackle global poverty”.

NAMO Sena (Army of Narender Modi) comprising of hardcore Modi supporters has demanded the Nobel Prize in economics for Modi because of his innovative idea of removing global poverty through demonetization. This has been termed as ‘The Namonomics’.

Sources;

  1. http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/ahmedabad/slum-millionaires-send-taxmen-on-a-wild-goose-chase/articleshow/58489682.cms
  2. http://www.dnaindia.com/money/report-understaffed-income-tax-department-opposes-diktat-to-double-taxpayer-base-2085357
  3. http://www.liveindia.com/news/2o.html
  4. http://www.rediff.com/news/column/history-wont-remember-manmohan-singh-kindly/20140312.htm
  5. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ma_Mati_Manush
  6. http://zeenews.india.com/delhi/quota-stir-haryana-jats-threaten-to-block-roads-to-delhi-on-march-20-cut-milk-supply_1982803.html
  7. http://indianexpress.com/article/india/regional/gujjars-block-delhijaipur-rail-tracks/
  8. http://www.mid-day.com/articles/dream-homes-for-marathi-manoos-only/28509
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