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The Indian jungle book

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We are living in extraordinary times. India with its thousands of years of history which most Indians are proud of is standing at a historical cusp where it appears to be in a position to seek its second freedom – freedom from itself.

Freedom at midnight was the first freedom from the British colonial Raj which ruled us, molded us into British culture for over two centuries. Indians a population of around thirty crores were ruled by the Goras with awe and not shock. They demonstrated style with substance. The whites also impressed us with their administrative abilities and the material they could create and produce better than us because they were far ahead of the world in the Industrial revolution, which India had completely missed. We looked up to their cars, trams, trains, clothing, cutlery, crockery, linen, guns, rifles, cannons and a professional armed forces ethos to name a few. They enamored us with their discipline, punctuality, conscientiousness, work ethics and demonstrative integrity.

“Gora Sahib cannot be wrong and will never be late” was the unquestionable faith every Indian ruled by them had firmly planted in his head and heart. They made roads, railroads, designed Lutyen’s city, clubs, Fine wines, scotch whisky and soda, gave us advanced medicine and surgery, large efficient factories, and a parliament too. They treated their women differently and involved them socially with dance and drama. We looked up in awe. Revered them, respected them, yes we did.

They were highly organized- in fact so organized that not more than 10,000 British civil servants and 2000 military officers were ever stationed in India, ruling 30,0000000 Indians! Mind boggling span of control – 1:250000. One Gora Vs 25 thousand Kalas. Divide and rule- nah we were already divided into more than 550 states, ruled by individual kings- totally intoxicated and totally selfish- who did what they wanted to with their coffers and their subjects. This made their job easy. They also were smart enough to find that we Indians are very greedy and selfish, self centered and they used it to their advantage to the hilt. They could easily find Jaichands- traitors- within and could get their way around us with ease.

Goras adapted to the Indian weather, the women and yet never learnt our language – may be since we had several of them. So they taught us their language- English- which was taken as superior to any other Indian language as the inventions and discoveries were in their language, what they produced was named by them. A club had to be called a club, a game of Cricket as Cricket, cinema as cinema, a hospital a hospital, surgery as surgery, Operation theatre an OT, a fire brigade as fire brigade an army Brigade as brigade, police as police, a file as a file.

They left us in 1947 and we had started ruling ourselves. Who ruled us? Those who were educated in Oxford, who spoke their language, smoked their cigarettes, drank their whiskey- whisky, soda and Cigars still existed- but in spaces confined within four walls.


How did they prove to Indians that they were Indians? Vesh Bhusha!! Dressing up like Indians- Dhoti Kurta or Kurta Pajama and a Gandhi topi was enough to melt in the Crowd. And the Crowd welcomed them. Ordinary Indians still considered those Indians superior to them. They were Indian Sahibs. We were used to remain oppressed and because of that even after Azadi we wanted some figures that we could look up to. And that worked for them very well. They made it work for good seventy years.

All that changed was Vesh Bhusha but inside those clothes were Desi Sahibs. Goras left us with infrastructure, Desi Sahibs, a breed called Anglo Indians – a mixed breed with genes of Gora Sahibs and Indian Dusky women and large number of genetically hard wired Jaichands. All of them existed happily ever after the virtual Independence on 15th August 1947.

These Sahibs got a stamp of approval of Crores of Indians to rule them through democratic voting process and they made 5 year plan (for a govt to exist) into a never ending repetitive process. They could brain wash us in such a way that we voted like programmed robots and they carried on having a ball. Making them rule us volunteeringly.


Cut to 2014.

With a stroke of luck good for some bad for some, came BJP in Power and Narendra Modi became the Prime Minister of India. From day one these Desi sahibs and Desi mem sahibs realized that this man was different. He meant business and wore patriotism on his sleeve- spoke the link language of Indians ie Hindi and fumbled in English at times. Oh- here is our man who not only dons our clothes but speaks like us eats like us (Vegan) and behaves like us! He is religious, traditional to the core and again wears his traditional ceremonies on the sleeve.

He ruled with a firm hand made some unpopular decisions and some mistskes too (Indians by now had smartened up and realized that anyone can make a mistake)- were ready to pardon if a mistake was not deliberate and the action was in their interest and in the national Interest.
In 2019 as the Old Sahibs and mem sahibs thought he will not be accepted by the Indian masses yet again, he bounced back with bigger victory. People called him a tiger and he was appreciated across the world. He learnt his ropes in the first five years and made some structural changes.

When structural changes happen “Dhartee thodi Kaamp Jaati hai”. An old saying. Many were unhappy but most knew that India is not a two wheeler bike that can change course in a second, it is a huge mutimillion ton Ship which takes a lot of time to change course. Modi made Indians proud- after a 70 year gap Indians started feeling that they were great and India is great. Motivation and morale is a matter of heart and perception- Modi did that. It is a long term investment. There is no price to pride and honor- we thought we got it after all.

Most of us who have been in the positions of responsibility would realize that the most difficult thing to change in an organization is its culture and morale of work force. Here Modi was dealing with a national culture of ‘Saab chalta hai’ 130 crore people!. He tried hard to demolish this culture and to a large extent got it right. But the old grand sahibs now found this tiger to be too difficult to handle. He was taking bold steps one after the other. Age old problems like Kashmir which people thought could never be resolved were handled very well and solved in a way which no one could have ever imagined. International diplomacy was at its best.

Now how to stop this Tiger the political opposition thought. They learnt from the nighnouring Pakistan and adopted their policy ‘Bleed India with thousand cuts’ so bleed Modi with thousand cuts. Bleed and Tire the tiger out. Tiger ko harana hai to usko thaka do, demoralize kar do.

That is the time parallel story ran out. The Indian jungle book….Wolves cannot face a tiger from the front. What do they do? The collect their own pack and also request Hyenas to join them so that they can bite him from all sides making noise chasing him , biting him and scaring the rest of the animals in the jungle who themselves are scared to come to the rescue of the Tiger- their king.

Make noise on every issue right or wrong in this mock fight even the rodents join up, small and big rats too, because they also will get a pound of flesh which alone is tough. Imagine rats eating Tiger’s meat- what a delicacy! Rodents, daga bazz, Jaichands, Lizards all help the Wolves at this time. Tiger is alone. Send out hundreds of arrows in all direction – Koi ek to lagega. They need one arrow to hit the right body part of the Tiger and so they chase him shouting CAA, CAA, CAA CAA, KOO, KOOO, CHOO CHOO CHOO trying to scare and confuse the whole lot in the jungle.They also bribed some buffoons and monkeys sitting on the trees with peanuts and bananas to also shout CAA CAA CAA in chorus.

Your king is getting tired, help him don’t let him down. You will be gone but your next generation will perish and eaten by the wolves. They may find your children’s meat tasty- a delicacy! Don’t be alarmed this can happen. Amen.

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