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Home Satire Random Thoughts from the Fringes on Timing the Numbers

Random Thoughts from the Fringes on Timing the Numbers

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For the past few weeks we have been bombarded about the fringe, numbers and timings. A lot of thoughts crossed my mind randomly during this heavy bombardment. The title of this article captures the essence of what the nation w ants to know and probably avoid.

First the numbers.

On the ease of doing business we improved from 142 to 100. On hunger index we dropped from 100 to 103, though some form the fringe may argue that we dropped from 56 to 103. The PEW numbers are trending at a healthy 70% to 95 % in favor of NaMo and the NDA government. The Moody’s have upgraded India from Baa3 to Baa2. GDP has dropped to 5.7%. And lastly the Delhi pollution numbers are varying tantalizingly between 999 and 431 because of which none of us are able to ‘see ‘ anything clearly in the ‘smog’ that has engulfed all of us.

Next the Fringe .

The dictionary describes the ‘Fringe’ as the “outer part or least important area, group or activity”. The opposition parties in general and the Congress party in particular neatly fit into this. The “Karni Sena”,the “Award Wapsi Gang”, the “Gau Rakshaks” and the “Bhakths” also qualify for this unique distinction. However the pride of place is held by the much decorated main stream media popularly known as the “Lutyens Cabal” in the merit list of “FRINGE”.

I write from the ‘fringes’ — outer edge, margin, periphery as per the dictionary. So I am not from the fringe but from the fringes like many other distinguished, unbiased, independent commentators without an agenda ( or without work and a retired senior citizen to boot).

And lastly the Timing.

Any one familiar with cricket, football, boxing etc, would know the importance of timing. With perfect timing a batsman can send the ball sailing over for a six; an agile fielder with a perfectly timed dive or a perfectly timed throw can have the same batsman stranded in the middle.

Now that I have set the background and established my credentials let me get to the subject.

The PEW numbers were ‘pooh poohed ‘ by the fringe for claiming a huge 84% in favor of NaMo from a sample size of 2464. Well NaMo got 8.45 lakh votes in Vadodra and 5.81 lakh votes in Varanasi. The BJP got 172 million votes but only 31% of the vote share. You may recall that the fringe berated the BJP for getting only 31% and tom toming that 69 % did not favor BJP. Well at that time nearly 14 lakh votes for NaMo was inconsequential; but 31% was very significant!! But today 84% is inconsequential but 2464 is very significant!

And just as one would expect, the timing of the PEW data is also questioned because the Gujarat elections are around the corner. Mercifully Himachal elections escaped dissection due to wrong timing!
Of course the timing of Moodys is also suspect and who else can say it better with perfect timing than Mihir Sharma!

Many form the main fringe question some of the ‘Padmavati fringe’. While the Padmavati fringe apart from other issues questions the timing of the release, the media fringe raises questions of FOE and FOS.

The ‘Kashmir Azaadi ‘ fringe wants everyone to talk to everyone who pelts stones, waves ISIS/Pak flags, raises anti India slogans and kills our soldiers. However some members from the same fringe oppose Sri Sri talking to every Tom, Dick and Harry on Ayodhya. 40 years of talks on Ayodhya has achieved nothing they claim. They wouldn’t say what 70 years of talking to every Tom Geelani, Dick Malik and Harry Abdullahs has achieved for Kashmir. 40 is greater than 70 and timing of Sri Sri when the SC is seized of the issue is all that matters to the Fringe.

The ‘AAP Fringe’ would not explain why they can’t build multi-level parking facility for additional buses in the existing depots; nor would they explain why existing buses cannot be converted or traded for CNG or Electric buses! They will explain at length how the LG is preventing them from doing work.

By now I am sure very one would be confused as to which number has higher value. I know that 3 is greater than 2 and even Hardik Patel would concur. But for Moody’s to say that Baa2 is greater than Baa3 or for the fringe to claim that 2464 is higher than 14 lakhs beats me to the core!

P(H)EW!! Now that I have got this out of my chest I can breathe freely whatever the AQI numbers are!! I can also happily indulge from the fringes in a MOODY chant of “BAA BYE “.

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