Tuesday, August 4, 2020
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Mocking the mock test

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“Who is it?” shot back the Mock-VC. “I am totally mocked –up now. Please come later for the mocking session!”

“It’s your favorite mocker, your Majesty, The Mock-Wizard” replied the intruder. “I have come to congratulate you, your Majesty. You have won the major mock-battle. You have mocked the mockers beyond the mocking reality. You have just thrust the mock knife into their belly. It’s time to relish your grand mock victory, Your Majesty”

“Don’t you dare to be mock-sympathetic to me!” retorted back the Mock-VC. “It’s all over the news, on social media. They are just garlanding me with all the expletives starting with the F word. How dare you displease me with your mock-seriousness? I will make you languish in this mock-hell called the Delhi University forever”

“It’s good news, at last, your Majesty” fumbled the intruder, stirred by the mocking rant of his master. He knew that His Master had taken flak from all the stakeholders of the University to go for the Online Open Book Examinations. He had been derided and mocked at by the students and teachers alike for conducting the same without adequate consultations and preparations. 

The Mock-Wizard knew that he was in charge of the mocking damage control exercise that mocked at the system for conducting the mockery called the OBE. Being at the helm of the mockable coterie set up by the Mock-VC, he had the onus to prove that all the opposition to the online examinations was nothing but a mocking inflammatory scaremongering of the non-pliant and rigid teaching fraternity who were oblivious of the mocking future that OBE lays ahead of them. The mock path of salvation advocated by the mocking system in form of the contemptuous step of deciding to conduct a mocking evaluation process was nothing but a mock exercise to prove to the world that online examinations are indeed a viable exercise if the formulators of the future policies ever want to refer it as a ready reckoner to espouse the online education system for the have-nots in the society.


“Don’t show me the mock-suns and mock-moons” murmured the exasperated Mock-VC. “I am just tired of the nincompoopery of these mock-idiots who call themselves Professors. They show me the stars and end up delivering a black hole. They are all hell-bent to put the mockers on my future career. I was just hoping for an erected milestone in form of OBE. Was dreaming of its nomenclature might change to include my title in it. Something that resembled the Kothari Commission. All my hopes have been dashed by these mock-serious lampoons”

“Relax your majesty” assuaged the Mock Wizard, sensing that his Master may experience a mock heartache at the fag end of his mocking term as mockable head of a slipping University. He had hoped to solve the mockeries of the issues assiduously cultivated by him. He had relished the mockery of the education system at twelve colleges that he had perpetrated in connivance with the self-mocking Delhi Government! The staff is still reeling under the non-payment of salaries with the threat of COVID-19 mocking at their face. “ You have just delivered a masterstroke that will vanquish the mockers of OBE, and drive a hard mocking punch at your adversaries. Alas, your genius has just spun the narrative on its head, my Master” swooned the Mock Wizard.

There was a frown of mock-disapproval on the Mock-VC’s face. But like a seasoned administrator who has mocked at the education system by his perfidious inaction, he swiftly camouflaged it and passed a wry smile at the Mock Wizard. “ Your historical decision to conduct a mock-test prior to OBE has metamorphosized the entire narrative of the University, Your Majesty” gasconaded the Mock-Wizard, attempting to chirk up his Master. “ Now the M word is the in-thing, the mock-horrors of the F words are things of the past, Your Majesty. The chaos that descends upon the students and teachers alike will just drive a mocking punch to the entire opposition to the OBE.


The teachers are busy in counseling the aggrieved and the harassed students who are staring at a mock-epic OBE that presses on them. The students on their part are wondering as to how they condescended from being a Y-generation to an M-generation in a matter of a few months! Anyway, they are numbed by the topsy-turvyness of the process thrown up by the OBE! They are busy discussing their harrowing blast of registration, non-receipt of OTP, login errors, and at the fag end attempting the wrong paper received online. The Principals, on the other hand, are busy texting the University of all the lacunae that mocks the online evaluation process” briefed the Mock-Wizard with a mock-heroic pride resonating in his baritone.

The Mock-VC strutted down the room, with glee worn all over his face. Alas, chaos is the panacea of all ills engulfing this morbid world, he thought. “Just call the meeting of all the heroes of the mocking system! They have at last fired their mock-guns and delivered. Killed two mockingbirds with a single stone!”

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