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5 essentials you need for this protest season!

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Let’s face it, we’ve all been there when all our friends are putting up the most rad and happening stories on their social media from the protests, but all you have been doing is sitting at home, studying, worrying about your future like a nerd. This feeling of FOMO is baseless, but well, who can calm this young mind full of energy? Protesting is tough, we get it. I mean, with 7-star hotels not giving unrestricted access to their washrooms is a struggle in itself.

To help you out, we have created a comprehensive guide that will help you out in ANY protest this year, because, aren’t they all the same?

1. Placards

Which protest has ever been complete without placards! But don’t get confused, we aren’t talking about placards with issues which are relevant. (That’s too much work, and we know it) No, all you have to do is copy some trending meme format onto it, condemn the people in power (because you don’t know the real issue, but we are against the government in every form or manner, right?) On the plus side, you just might get famous on social media with your oh-so-quirky-and-witty poster!

2. National Flag

Don’t flinch yet, it’s just for representation purposes. It’s not like you care about the nation in any form, otherwise, you would have been questioning the government on an issue that matters, unlike some imaginary law that hasn’t been introduced yet. You can also go one step ahead, and learn the preamble of our constitution as if you respect that document.

3. A collection of Poems

Just bear with us for this, but it is of utmost importance. Pick out any ‘revolutionary’ poet from history, without even bothering to read contexts. This way, if anyone questions you, you can easily brand them as ‘illiterates’.

4. Mug up the Azaadi chant

Whatever the place, whatever the issue, whatever the protest, hum kya maange, Azaaaaaadi! Practice, practice and practice, because this will be very useful for you even in the future. Even if you necessarily understand what freedom are you asking for, just say ‘Azaadi’. Hope someone will take it seriously.

5. Learn some buzzwords

Unfortunately, there can be some media outlets present who can randomly quiz you over your actual knowledge of the issue (Bummer, right?). To avoid any slipping of the tongue, it is recommended that you learn some buzzwords like ‘Fascism’, ‘Democracy is under threat’, ‘Secularism’ etc. This way, at least you can make a coherent statement when you don’t want to get into the details.

Bonus: We also recommend that you keep your hearing aids at home since you don’t want to hear any logical counter or worse, listen to some law enforcement agency.

We hope this starter pack helps you, and don’t forget to regularly update your Instagram and twitter with pics of protest!

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