Saturday, March 28, 2020
Home Satire How to get Citizenship, the “Lib-Secular” way

How to get Citizenship, the “Lib-Secular” way

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theangryindian
A jack of all trades, I love art, writing, food, travel, finance, animals. Have a canvas or two, a manuscript or two and a website on the anvil at all times. Besides this I have  around 12 years of work experience in Corp Sales across, Hospitality, BFSI & Tech. My last job was with a start-up. Currently I am in between jobs, adjusting to a new continent  with my husband and my cat Gangu in tow!

The Indian, Lib-Secular is up in arms. Abdul has been denied citizenship by the fascist government of India. The same fascist government, led by a man who was given clean chit for 2002 Godhra riots. They passed The Citizenship Amendment Act: an act providing citizenship to religious minorities persecuted in the three neighboring Muslim-majority countries. But Abdul was not included in it. How dare the Government of India do that!

Naturally, since Indian secularism was designed to protect the rights of only and only their average murderous Abdul, they have decided to uphold the demand for his Citizenship. After all he too is persecuted, running away from his state. For championing this right of Abdul to squat and own any and every piece of land on the planet, the Lib-Sec messiahs are using their time-tested methods –

Of Train Burning and Arson!

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The liberal lynch mobs fighting for rights of the average Abdul on the road, running away from a state created for him, are roaring, burning stations and torching trains. They argue that unless every Abdul, who incidentally is part of the peaceful mob doing the torching, is not given citizenship in India, they will keep on torching public property. After all ARSON is the ultimate method of proving that you are a peace-loving citizen, of a peaceful religion, living in a law-abiding nation!

https://sputniknews.com/asia/201912141077575671-cabprotests-dozens-of-vehicles-railway-stations-torched-by-muslim-protesters-in-india—videos/

Of Stone-Pelting!

Whether Abdul is an illiterate of he is studying in Jamia Milia or part of a mob in ISIS controlled Syria, the lure of the stone pelting is so much, that every time Abdul faces a hurdle against his desire to own his neighbor’s land, he picks up the stone. This time the Lib-Secs have told him to pick up stones and pelt at public properties across India, because Indian government told him to go back to his ghetto in Bangladesh. Abdul will protest by stone pelting. How dare the Indian government deny him the right to Indian citizenship! If anyone deserves citizenship of India, it is the Lib-Secs, most beloved stone-pelter, Abdul! And the Indian state is denying that right. Onward with the stone pelting ho!

https://sputniknews.com/asia/201912141077575671-cabprotests-dozens-of-vehicles-railway-stations-torched-by-muslim-protesters-in-india—videos/

Of Vandalism!

Vandalism isn’t vandalism if it’s done at the hands of sharia-abiding Abdul! No matter how many times he decides to indulge in vandalism of public property, the Lib-Secs have realized that vandalism is a crucial weapon through which Abdul, the arsonist, stone peter, exercises his Freedom of Speech and Expression. Heck, such is the loyalty of Lib-Secs to him, that they recognize his right to rape and murder, also as his Freedom of Speech and Expression. A little Freedom of Speech and Expression never harmed anyone. So, what if a few buses got torched. All for Abdul!

https://thelogicalindian.com/news/assam-protests-citizenship-bill/

Of Lynch Mobs!

When a few thousand murderous Abduls are on the roads, chanting slogans and stone pelting, burning, vandalizing, then and only then does their demand for citizenship of India gets properly translated. After all which country on the planet will not give citizenship to a horde of murderous Abduls, running around in Lynch Mobs. Citizenship is something that is given to deserving people, and who can be more deserving than the average Abdul, infiltrating, lynching, pelting and breaking laws with glee! The great Lib-Secs of the great country of India, see an amazing future for the country, in the hands of these Lynch Mobs, a feudal army of thousands of murderous Abduls!

https://www.opindia.com/2019/12/citizenship-amendment-bill-west-bengal-violence-protests/

With such a lot of sophisticated methods of demanding citizenship, the Liberal-Seculars of India hope that Abdul will soon be given citizenship under the CAB. Long live liberalism. Long live secularism!

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theangryindian
A jack of all trades, I love art, writing, food, travel, finance, animals. Have a canvas or two, a manuscript or two and a website on the anvil at all times. Besides this I have  around 12 years of work experience in Corp Sales across, Hospitality, BFSI & Tech. My last job was with a start-up. Currently I am in between jobs, adjusting to a new continent  with my husband and my cat Gangu in tow!

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