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Munna Bhai H1b calls USCIS customer care for help

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Munna Bhai stuck in H1b for decades calls USCIS National Customer Service Center at 1-800-375-5283:

USCIS Customer Care: How may I help you? Please state your name and immigration status?

Munna Bhai: I am experiencing crushing labour issues. My name is Munna Bhai H1B for last 10 years.

USCIS Customer Care: Bhai, You need to dial 911 immediately. Do you want me to transfer.

Munna Bhai: You never get it? This is a work force labour issue I am calling about.

USCIS Customer care: My bad, please go ahead.

Munna Bhai: Let me explain you from beginning.. H1b, country quota for annual Green cards, no country quota for H1b visa,90% H1b goes to India (2 billion people).. stuck in indentured servitude.

USCIS Customer care: Oh I see. You called the wrong person. I am just for customer care. Please reach out to Mr. Kevin Cummins.

Munna Bhai: You are the right person. I am your customer and have a genuine concern. Higher levels are in bed with lobby groups. You really seem to be nice and caring. Sometimes, if there is a heavy rain and if I don’t have an umbrella, I stand under the trees. Can you do what you can?

USCIS Customer Care: Oh my gauche. Please go ahead.

Munna Bhai: See, I have made my best fights so far. Did my part for HR3012, HR213, 100k White House petitions, protested in front of White House. Now, I am getting tired and don’t believe anything is going to work because the opponents I face are numerous times wealthier and stronger than I am. Figured out I will try one last option of calling USCIS customer care.

USCIS Customer Care: Oh Dear, sorry about your situation. I will try my best to help you. What is the problem again and how do you think I can help?

Munna Bhai: Let me explain you from beginning. H1b, country quota for annual Green cards, no country quota for H1b visa, 90% H1b goes to India (2 billion people) stuck in. My mom doesn’t want me to come back, she cares for me. My wife wants me to go back to India, not sure if she cares for me, my kid wants me to be here.. I am going thru mid life crisis. oops sorry, I am going through crushing labour issue, work force related USCIS created and ignored labour issue.

USCIS Customer Care: Got that part. Thanks for clarifying again.What can I do to help you.

Munna Bhai: H1bs waiting for GC are ballooning and may soon cross a million at 10% rate increase.There is a crisis. You guys have to match the 7% person country quota on Green cards to the H1bs being issued. My calculation is, if you apply the 7% country quota of Green cards on H1B, India would have got, 975 instead of 45000 H1Bs it got for 2015.

USCIS Customer Care: How did you arrive at that number?How will that solve your problem.

Munna Bhai: Ratios and proportions, school math. This stops the pressure on Green card wait which was increasing every year by 10%. Results in lesser indentured servitude folks and lesser displacement of American workers. And this is perfectly within the rights of USCIS with a valid reason. Now you see, this problem of country quota faced by me, is not just mine to solve. Let the Giants like Tech Industry, USCoC, AILA, USCIS (missed fees and budget cuts?) deal with it. So, I can worry about just my “Life is not fair stuff like everybody else”

USCIS Customer Care: I made a note of all you said and will bring it up in our team discussions with our supervisor. Please note down the case reference number as…

Munna Bhai: Thanks. Well, you may receive 1000s of calls soon from all over the country from folks like me going through labour pain. I will follow up on my case soon or open a new ticket if not resolved.

USCIS Customer Care: Beg your pardon?

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