Confessions of a Left Liberal’s stomach

I am a stomach. But I am not just an ordinary stomach. I am “the” stomach of a left liberal intellectual. I will starve without beef. I survive on intolerance. I feed on death. I feed on anarchy. I feed on souls. I feed on you.

When I am not eating beef, I churn. I love churning. I can churn continuously and every issue but, as most of the Lutyen elites do, I have to maintain my sense of opportunism. You see, when my master cannot debate on facts, I come in handy to create a false sense of panic. I churn at regular intervals, in perfect coordination with my fellow revolutionaries. When do I churn? Is there a pattern? Well, I doubt if you Khaki wearing Sanghis can understand. Still, let me try.

I churned when Kanhaiya of JNU Student Union was arrested. I didn’t when Kamlesh Tiwari was. (Free speech, they said)

I churned when force was used against unarmed students. I didn’t when Rajbala, a woman protestor with Baba Ramdev was killed by Delhi Police at 3 in morning. (Saffron is fascist, they said)

I churned when lawyers attacked media in Patiyala House Court. I didn’t when a scribe was burnt alive in UP.

I churned when a doctored video was used to target Kanhaiya. I didn’t when a doctored video was used two days back to blame ABVP for the slogans.

I churned for Omar Khalid for him being targeted because he is a Muslim. I didn’t for Corp. Abhimanyu Gaud as he was killed in broad daylight by (Fill in the blanks).

I churned when Batla House encounter happened. I didn’t when 75 CRPF soldiers martyred in Dantewada. (Casualties of war, they said)

I churned when Rohith Vermula committed suicide. I didn’t when a dalit rag picker was burnt alive in Pune for being a Hindu.

I churned when Akhlaq was killed by a Hindutva mob. I didn’t when Sujith was killed by leftwing fanatics (CPM) in Kerala.

I churned when Rajendra Kumar was raided. I didn’t when everyone close to Modi was thrown in jail.

I churned when ink was thrown on Soni Sori (or Arvind Kejriwal). I didn’t when bombs were hurled at Narendra Modi in Bihar.

I churned when Ishrat Jahan was killed. I didn’t when Maj. Sandeep Unikrishnan died.

I churned for Yakoob. I am yet to Google who is Capt. Pawan Kumar.  (And they hanged Yakoob).

I churn for Palestine. I don’t for Kashmiri Pandits.

I churned for Mujaffarnagar. I didn’t for Malda. I don’t remember 1984.

I churned in 2002. I am still churning for 2002. I will always churn for 2002.

Long Live Revolution.

(Now can I have my Beef, well done please)

(It was heard in the studios of NDTV that the screen of Ravish’s studio is planning to write her side of story. “I wasn’t blackened when…)

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