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HomeSatireThe travails of oped writers: How they react with recent election results

The travails of oped writers: How they react with recent election results

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Yesterday evening must have been a busy night for your oped writers. Not all oped writers, but some oped writers who are fighting the good fight of rebellion from Modi so that they can hand over the throne to Sonia Gandhi at the soonest.

Here is a sneak peak at their notes

Keywords if BJP won:
Fascism under the garb of elections
BJP steamrolls TMC – EVMs hacked say opposition
West Bengal is now a covid hotspot
Democracy in Danger

Keyword if TMC wins:
Bengal rejects polarisation, votes unitedly
West Bengal shows it is unique
Mamatas policies have enabled her to win over Women

If BJP won Puducherry:
Puducherry is insignificant in any electoral calculus. BJP is confined to Karnataka and still has not made a dent in South India

If BJP did not in Puducherry:
Puducherry continues to be a torch bearer South Indias independence.

Kerala was never going to be in the BJP calculus, so the Kerala model notes were secure. Though, Educated Kerala rejects BJP yet again – was there in the drafts as a resounding kick. Assam was also a bit of a battle given up by the chatterati and anyway it is too far to matter (for them)

Thankfully for them it was a sweep with the results along expected lines, so how the South Kolkata analysis will sweep the headlines for Bengal and be automatically cleansed of all wrong doing. Kerala will be back with its Kerala model (no wave there). Pudhucherry and Assam are forgotten due to size and distance respectively. Tamil Nadu is safe from the BJP on expected lines, so for now, we settle with “India rejects Modi and Shah style electoral majoritarianism – voters show they prefer India as a Federal structure”

And go back to dreaming about their future sinecures…

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