Tuesday, July 16, 2024
HomeSatireScarf — The outfit of rioters

Scarf — The outfit of rioters

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The last two years have been a tumultuous period in Indian political history. These years have been riddled with riots and carpeted with crisis. Nearly all of the government’s policies have faced major hostile pushback from certain organisations whose only purpose is to create nuisance. There has been a disturbing trend which has been overlooked because of all the other disturbing trends associated with these riots.

The disturbing trend has been a fashion trend. Virtually every single rioter has been spotted wearing a scarf, often indoors. Some of these riots took place in Delhi during the peak summer season, when temperatures often shoot up to 50oC, and sometimes often lead to untimely deaths due to heat strokes. This trend suggests that perhaps the scarf is the outfit of rioters and con men.

When the government abrogated Article 370, which gave citizens of Jammu and Kashmir the human rights which they had previously been denied because of the state’s special status and its dynasties, Jawaharlal Nehru University (JNU) student union president, Kanhaiya Kumar, led a ‘protest’ demanding ‘azadi.’ They threatened that they would separate Kashmir from India, questioned the integrity of India, and even chanted slogans glorifying the terrorist Afzal Guru. During the protests, Kanhaiya Kumar had been seen sporting a scarf.

Alongside Kumar was Sheila Rashid, whose own father has now alleged that she received money from certain organisations to conduct anti-national activities, was also seen wearing a scarf.

When the government introduced the Citizenship Amendment Bill, which guaranteed refuge to Hindus, Buddhists, Sikhs, and Christians who were fleeing from religious persecution which they faced in Pakistan, Bangladesh, and Afghanistan, Umar Khalid, yet another member of the JNU students union, led riots fear-mongering Indian citizens and help the capital, Delhi, hostage for weeks. He too was seen wearing a scarf.

The educational fee subsidies, which the JNU students enjoy, have resulted in students continuing their education perpetually, in an attempt to feed off the government’s resources. Most rioters are from JNU, and most students from JNU are in the twilight of their lives, which is perhaps why they need to wear scarves.

Recently when the government put forth a new farm bill, which allowed farmers to sell their crops at the maximum selling price, Yogendra Yadav, who claims to be an expert in everything under the sky, agitated and mislead the farmers of the state of Punjab into believing that the farm laws will lead to them losing their farmland. Upon hearing this false claim, farmers from Punjab reached the capital to riot against the government. While making these claims, which lacked erudition, Yogendra Yadav was seen wearing a scarf.

All of these occurrences have confirmed my hypothesis. A scarf is in fact the outfit of rioters in India. Reject modernity, embrace tradition! Ditch the scarf, put on a shawl!

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