Monday, May 25, 2020
Home Satire Media to form Alliance with Congress, waiting for Internet to come on board

Media to form Alliance with Congress, waiting for Internet to come on board

Also Read

Congress Patrakars have been very upset at the lack of Congress ability to stitch up alliances. They have been very vocal on social media – possibly emanating from the common WhatsApp group that they are all part of – but this time it is not orchestrated, it is genuine. Given this circumstance, a logical next step has happened.

The media or a section of it has announced an alliance with the Congress for the 2019 election.

They have decided to drumbeat the achievements of the prince and his new clothes that would put an alliance to shame. In fact, Pseudosecular Patrakaars who lost many a free airline seat and shopping trip have decided to pool their collective influence for the prince. After all, free shopping and travel is a thing to vie for. Sonia-air loyalty miles go very far over generations; without an expiry date.

 

There is an entire team to manufacture his adventures like you see in the superhero movies. Somebody crafts all those backstories and sequels and prequels so that, you see a coherent stories while they mint money by you watching all those movies (sometimes thrice so that your kids understand what happened like you listen so many times to the princes videos to just understand whats being said). Behind all those cute prince pictures is a story whose driving principle is “Life is but a series of photo opportunities”.

Behind every speech is a story of a script painstakingly written, knowing fully well that it will not see the light of day or be laughed upon – think of the speechwriter who lives through this each day. But I digress, this is all about media aligning and projecting Rahul Gandhi as the numero uno challenger to the kommunal Narinder Mudi.

The media team is projecting every achievement of India (or Nehru or Indira) as his – after all, generations conspired to get Rahul here. What is an alliance here and there when the media is there?

 

Let me take you back to 2013, which incidentally was the 4th Rahul ‘comingof’ age. Slight digression: Unlike the geographic ages, Rahul has only one age – comingof. Rahul had won the UP polls in the newspapers and media even before the first vote was cast – not counted. Why, in some newspapers, Congress rules UP and Rahul is the CM. The EVMs may have counted the votes, but the heart – the pseudosecular heart beats for Rahul and Rahul only and sometimes his sister.

As part of the alliance, media wants no seats, not in parliament atleast. They do want seats on the plane that Rahul will travel. There a thousand positions to be filled. Rahul needs writers, editors, correctors, script rejiggers, input interpreters, output interpreters, photographers, dimple counters, food bloggers, achievement generators, history creators and more. Rumour has it even AI and ML jobs are on the anvil. With so many jobs at stake with just one person, it is no secret why the media has announced an alliance with Rahul. When one person can create so many jobs, what is Mudi?

Meanwhile as the prince goes about connecting rural areas with railways and promising roads and electricity mostly he is promising what Modi has already done apart from the easter eggs like promising potato gold factories and rafales at 1600 rupees – every house will have one rafale, media cleverly shows only the princes new clothes. Atleast one social media site has been reportedly part of the alliance, a bird tweeted.

 

Now, if only they could bring the internet on board this alliance – thats it – from then on, it will be Rahulman who will win..

- advertisement -

  Support Us  

OpIndia is not rich like the mainstream media. Even a small contribution by you will help us keep running. Consider making a voluntary payment.

Trending now

Latest News

भारतीय भाषाई विविधता पर हावी पश्चिमीकरण और हमारी दुर्बलता

संस्कृत विश्व की पुरातन भाषा है और वर्तमान की सभी भाषाओं की उत्पत्ति इसी भाषा से हुई है किन्तु आज यही संस्कृत भाषा विलोपित होती जा रही है। उससे भी बड़ी विडम्बना यह है कि हम स्वयं अपनी भाषागत परंपरा का पश्चिमीकरण कर रहे हैं। (by @omdwivedi93)

COVID 19- Agonies of Odisha Sarpanches no one is talking about

While the delegation of the collector power to the Sarpanch is being welcomed by all, the mismanagement has put an woe among these people's representatives.

The implications of structural changes brought by Coronavirus – Part 1

Many companies will move towards greater share of employees working from home with a weekly one to two day gathering for team building purposes. The IT industry in India estimates that close to 50 per cent of the country’s 4.3 million IT workers will soon work from home.

Saving the idea of India

Should Mickey (Valmiki) have not been more inclusive and given name Rehman instead of Hanuman and Agatha instead of Agastya? Such bandicoot the wrier was!

Feminism is nice, but why settle for a lesser idea?

Feminism talks about only women, Devi talks about humanity and cares for everyone equally as a compassionate mother (real gender neutrality)

Centre’s Amphan package for West Bengal should be low in ‘cash’, high in ‘kind’

while helping the state, the centre must reduce the cash disbursement as much as possible. The corruption through misappropriation is believed to be directly proportional to the 'cash component' in a package.

Recently Popular

तीन ऐसे लोग जिन्होंने बताया कि पराजय अंत नहीं अपितु आरम्भ है: पढ़िए इन तीन राजनैतिक योद्धाओं की कहानी

ये तीन लोग हैं केंद्रीय मंत्री श्रीमती स्मृति ईरानी, दिल्ली भाजपा के युवा एवं ऊर्जावान नेता एवं समाजसेवी कपिल मिश्रा एवं तजिंदर पाल सिंह बग्गा। इन तीनों की कहानी बड़ी ही रोचक एवं प्रेरणादायी है।

सावधान: सोशल मीडिया का गलत इस्तेमाल कर छात्र-छात्राओं को किया जा रहा गुमराह!

अगर इन्टरनेट पर उपलब्ध जानकारियाँ गलत हो या संस्थाओं से प्रेरित हो तब तो आपका ऐसे संस्थाओं के जाल में फसना निश्चित है और इसका एहसास आपको जब होगा तब तक बहुत देर हो चुकी होगी।

ABVP and RSS volunteers conduct door-to-door screening of residents in Mumbai

Volunteers of ABVP and RSS began door to door screening in slum pockets of Nehru Nagar in Mumbai, equipped with PPE sets and directed by doctors on board, and screened over 500 people in total in the last three days.

AMU की पाक ज़मीं से उपजा भारत के Secularism का रखवाला निर्देशक

अगर अनुभव सिन्हा एक एजेंडा से भरे निर्देशक नहीं बल्कि सचमुच दलितों के पक्ष कार एवं भला चाहने वाले व्यक्ति हैं तो क्या वे अलीगढ़ मुस्लिम यूनिवर्सिटी जिसके वह alumni रहे हैं में दलित आरक्षण के मुद्दे को उठाएंगे? क्या देश के अन्य विश्वविद्यालयों की तरह एएमयू जैसे विश्वविद्यालय में भी दलितों को आरक्षण का अधिकार नहीं?

Ayan invasion theory- A myth

What’s shocking to me is that a certain section of India holds up to the AIT and consistently tries to prove it right despite many genetic/ archeological/ historical evidences. Now who is that section that I am referring to ? The “left” of India.