He is her first, she is his last-read it so many time but it’s very strange statement. We are heroising men with many girlfriends, we have already assumed that is normal.
Both has to be each other’s last ! Coming back to topic of today’s thoughts.
My husband and I are not an ideal couple but we have arranged things like that it looks ideal.
Cooking: He prepares Chapati and I prepare vegetable (Sometime he also help me in cutting vegetables).
Dishes: He loads dishwasher with dishes and unload it.
Laundry: He creates groups of clothes to be washed together, I do four eye. He load washer and put clothes out for drying. Once dried then I fold them and put them in closets.
Office clothes: We get them washed and ironed outside.
For other ironing: We take help from outside.
Cleaning home: Help from outside.
I have no complaints because of such a lovely supportive partner.
It does not matter who earn how much and how many hours does one work. This is how we have set it up between us.
We also have lazy days: When one person do not do anything and other person does everything. This is also agreed between us which days.
Also the days when one person is sick or I am on periods then other person do everything without asking or complaining.
Now some will say my husband is good or understanding, or you are very demanding or dominating or he does this out of love. None of this is 100% true or 100% wrong. He has never done any work when he was growing up and same thing with me. I was so spoiled that my mother use to give me water where I was sitting even to wash hands before and after food.
How we got all this arranged?
As both of us don’t want to do any house work like others, so first we started dividing task and performing together, by doing this we spend more time together. Later slowly when we started realising that we want to have more fun together and not just work together. So we started looking for domestic help for cleaning, iron etc. Both of us gradually moved into this.
It’s also because I never exposed myself for exploitation as I know how I should be treated and what my core values are. I made abhishek realised that as I love and respect myself he also need to do same to get respect back from me.
It was all step by step and took years to come where we stand today. We always called each other with respect even when we fight. Never used any abusive words not even once.
Sometime out of fun I use slangs which my husband hates me doing that and he stops talking with me when I do that. I do this bit just to tease him, he doesn’t even say ‘sala’ which make me fall for him everyday and love him more every day.
We have our own differences, I like being lazy, he love being active. We fight a lot to maintain our hobbies lazy and active at the same time. It’s hard but we try to find no mid way but decide to go our own ways on this.
He over spend money and I am more of saver kind. He always give excuse that as kid he has lived in limited means and I was opposite I was over spender as kid. So here as well we have not found a balance. Which create bit of rift between us, but we were trying to manage in ok possible way. Not best for sure.
Both of us come from complete different family background one from service and I from business. So our thought process have huge reflections of that as well.
We are two different souls living together as one, that is beauty of love.
Our core values are same many of them, like respecting other persons choices, believing girl and boy have equal rights, not taking money from others, live in our own means, 100% no to dowry, 100% no to bribe and corruption, respecting each other, no begging and not stealing, always feel proud of who we are, care for each other, do small bit of social help, no need to help those who can help themselves.
In this way we are so much alike and yet so much different.