Monday, May 25, 2020
Home Satire A "bhaitard" pens down his feelings on acquittal of Salman Khan

A “bhaitard” pens down his feelings on acquittal of Salman Khan

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I never believed that there is intolerance in India until yesterday when people started opposing the SCRIPT, sorry verdict that our BHAI is not VILLAIN.

There is so much controversy because he belongs to double minority group (he is a Muslim and a Star). He has suffered for 13 years (in words of Subhash Ghai) but people are not satisfied even after this (don’t ask about suffering of victims, nobody actually cares about them).

Yes being a BHAITARD, I was also disappointed but for different reason because it was not announced that BHAI was actually HERO of that night. Of course, we cannot accept any story until BHAI is lead hero!


And why not? He was the one who saved all other people on that footpath (by not running over them) and maybe footpaths of whole Mumbai, only BHAI know the truth.

Some foolish Bhai haters rejoiced when before interval BHAI was declared VILLAIN, but they didn’t know that ki “PICTURE ABHI BAAKI THI MERE DOST”(Never underestimate POWER of bhai”).

What were evidences against SALLU BHAI? An eye witness inside the car, dozens of eyewitnesses outside the car, statement of waiter of bar, bill of liquor consumed. Ohh such weak evidences! What does it prove? I knew from very beginning that Sallu bhai was as innocent as a lamb (no no, actual lamb, not the one in wolf clothing).


He had so many evidences in favour of him- He was rich, he was a star, he was famous, he had great lawyers, and above all a good connection in political circle. Besides this, charges against him were so naïve – killing some street beings (Abhijeet Da even wanted to write to PM to award Bhai for contribution to Swachh Bharat i.e. cleaning street dogs). And you thought he was guilty? Poor you.

It is also slap on face of those who say that his movies lack story and he doesn’t know acting. Just look at the whole plot perfectly acted and directed with all drama and suspense. Witness died mysteriously in middle of it (how dare he  challenge DABANG? Doesn’t he know BHAI never speaks lie, bajrang bali ke bhakt hai jhooth nai bolenge. No, no, don’t laugh. We have an SC judge who thinks that since Sanjay Dutt acted in Lage Raho Munna Bhai, he is changed man. If he can be MUNNABHAI then why not BAJRANGI?).

Case diary just vanished and later reappeared. And the best was reserved for the end: sudden appearance of driver out of nowhere (no it’s just rumour that there is sudden surge in demand for Indian drivers abroad, poor Kasab if only he had driver to take all blame). But congratulations to Salman its his best release till date.


Salman is always conscious of choosing date of release be it EID or DIWALI but he has nailed this time. What could had been better release date than “HUMAN RIGHT’S DAY”? (so appropriate after all he is already in business of selling humans sorry “BEING HUMAN”. I don’t know if he had also brought some in process)

Ohh, I forgot to tell you the climax of all this. At the end, it was revealed that it was car that was drunk and footpath that was over-speeding and whole plan was hatched by aliens so that when BHAI would have been in jail they would could attack and capture our planet. Thanx to BHAI-Danger is now averted.

Now, I am anxiously waiting for his next release”CHINKARA KO KISNE MAARA?”. However I already know its ending. SPOILER alert- “Chinkara was killed by no one. He actually committed suicide”.

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