The unsolicited FEAR
It was around 3:30 PM everybody looked happy; Mr. I, his wife Mrs. I, their parents and their 6 year old little munchkin had recently finished a comedy movie along with tasty chai and samosa. The little one was still toying with the green peas he picked from the samosas; he does not like Green Peas and would always without failing pick them out from every thing. Mr. I helped him wash his hands and started his favorite video game Tekken 3. Just then the postman arrived. Mrs. I opened the door and received the letter. As soon as she opened the envelope to read the letter, her face turned pale, her breathing pattern changed, it looked as if she is just going to burst in tears. Her mother in law saw her and within a fraction of a second realized that something was wrong. She asked “kya hua beta? (what happened?).” The Mrs. I neither gave an answer to the question nor looked in her mother’s eyes. Just handed the letter over to her and tears flew.
The letter was directed to Mr. I. Mother read the letter and the important part in the letter was “your leaves are cut short due to some unforeseen circumstances that have evolved recently and you have to report immediately.” They both knew, he will have to follow the orders and go. He has no choice and moreover he would want to go like he did in the past.
They set down, took their time to process the information. After a few minutes they started talking. They have to make the best of whatever time was left. The mother went and looked in the fridge, there was no capsicum and no cottage cheese, she wanted to cook Kadhai Paneer, fried aloos along with the tikona parantha the ever green favorite of her son. As soon as she started to head towards the market, Mrs. I stopped her and volunteered to go on her behalf to get the veggies. She generally does not like to get the vegetables by herself, as the place was a little too far. But that day she volunteered because she had to get herself a particular dress along with pink shade of lipstick that her husband had pointed to once while window shopping. She was planning to put them on on her wedding anniversary which was due next month but that was not going to happen now.
The next morning they showed the letter to Mr. I. Everybody pretended to be strong and as if it is not that serious. But they all knew it might be the last time they see each other. Every body had some hidden guilt. The mother was thinking of all his son’s favorite dishes she could have cooked, the wife was thinking on the similar lines, Mr. I was thinking that he didn’t do much for his family; they all had thought they have enough time to do what all they had planned for their loved ones.
The family’s happiness was screwed the moment they read that letter. They were living, breathing but in a constant fear that they might never see their loved one again. They might not live the moments they always relished with him.
Every time they turn on the television and watch troubling news from Kashmir, their hearts beat – faster and louder. They don’t know where to go, what to do. They do only one thing; pray. What else could they do?
Every time the postman shows up, their hearts sink! If the letter is from Mr. I or related to him Mrs. I would keep the sealed envelope under her pillow, afraid to read what is in the letter.“What happened to him? Is he fine? God help him, please reward him for my good deeds, give him my part of the life, let him live more!” Think positive! easier said than done. But not for long, she finally gathers some courage to open that up and read. Even if everything is okay, the tears flow. May be this is the reason why she believes in something, be it god or a stone or a thread, it is the faith that keeps her sane and gives them the strength to cope with the anxiety and extreme fear that she experienced from receiving the letter to opening it. She knew whatever is done is done, but the dearest of all was at stake, her life would have changed with any bad news. She sees him in his handwriting, she hears his voice in his sentences, in his words that’s all how she can connect.
Every moment of their lives when they are not busy doing something, they live like this. Every day, every hour, every minute and second!
This might be my imagination based on news articles, documentaries or movies etc, but I believe in each and every word I wrote.
How would you live when you know that your loved one might never return? The feeling that you would have then is called FEAR.
They stop living like this only when a coffin trapped in tri-color arrives at their door step because they don’t have the loved one to lose now. The pain never goes away. Mr. I becomes Mr. India for the rest of the India; he ceases to exist, nobody sees him, people only count; 44 this time, 25 last time, 2 beheaded before that etc etc. Their anger is directly proportional to size of the number. Bigger the number more is the anger. But Mr. I was everything for his family who became a memory but not the number. The pain never goes away. May be time heals. May god give them the strength.
Atheists seem quite proud of themselves for not believing in anything but in themselves, let them put themselves in situations like this and tell the difference, everybody tends to believe in themselves till everything goes well for them. I have literally seen atheists who used to make fun of a lot of things but started even following vastu-shastra (as in, which direction to face while studying) once they failed a few subjects. Let science tell me the difference as in what did the 44 CRPF soldiers do different then the rest in the convoy to deserve martyrdom? Or what did the families of the 2446 solders do to keep living in extreme fear and haunted day and night by the thought of losing their loved ones?
As if the misery of those families is not enough by itself, a lot of so-called intellectuals add to their misery by using words. Words are powerful instruments, they have changed the course of the history in the past and have the potential to change the future as well. Some journalists try to dig up the reasons to justify the act of terrorism. Some out of their politics end up saying it was a soldier’s duty to die for the nation. Or even worse, people die! Shame!!
What a nice way to torture the families who have lost their loved ones! I cannot think of a better way.
People in Indian not only add to the misery of such families but also mock their fear. I don’t understand what kind of fear haunts Mr. Aamir Khan and Mr. Naseeruddin Shah. They go where they like, live how so ever they like. They do whatever they like in their lives even if it is despicable like when they come up with movies like PK humiliating a majority community in the country, or openly discriminate against them while recruiting for a show like Satyamev Jayate, which is supposed to be a social activist show, nothing happens to them. I am glad and proud that nothing happens and would hope and pray it stays like that. I seriously don’t understand their definitions of fear and intolerance.
But I seriously think that they are emotionally retard. People like them don’t keep a track of how many wives they have, or where and how many children they have or even allegedly fall in love with a girl as old as his daughter with his previous wife and that too when he was playing a role of her dad in the movie. It is our fault that we expect people like them to feel the pain for a sane family. “They” here is not limited to the two names or even some journalists, google it, look for them, they won’t know the pain of losing someone, because they don’t care, they can find another one, big deal.
Every fugitive or criminal be it a fraud, kidnapper, drug peddler, murderer, rapist or even a terrorist is fearful. They have to be, they asked for it. They had the freedom to choose, to say ‘No’ to whatever they don’t want in their lives; unlike that soldier and his family who know they might never see each other but still cannot say ‘NO’, their fear is unsolicited, they never asked for it.
It just makes me wonder, what did Aamir Khan and Naseeruddin Shah do in their lives that haunts them? May be they know something that we don’t.
A soldier also has the rights that we all enjoy. He has a right to love and to be loved. He has a right to enjoy his favorite dishes and other delicious meals cooked by his mother. He has a right to take care of his old parents. He has a right to flirt with his wife, see her all dressed up, go for long walks. He has a right to spend time with his little munchkins, play video games with them, see them growing up. He has a right to live. But he voluntarily sacrifices his rights and his freedom, so that we live free and exercise all our rights that he will not.
Even with all this Mr. I’s old father still shares his son’s brave stories with his old pals. Even though a tear or two trickles down his cheeks every time he returns home after sharing the stories, but he is proud of his son. Even though he lost his pillar of support in his old age, but he has no regrets for his son’s decision to choose nation over him. Even though Mrs. I now lives a life of solitude, but she doesn’t complain. And above all, the little munchkin, who grew up without a dad, saw the sufferings of his family, wants to be like his dad and joins Army.
But what did we the selfish, self-centered civilians do? — Counted the bodies! Kicked up a storm on Facebook or Twitter! Changed our display pics! Or even asked for a proxy or full fledged war! That’s nice, asked for even more sacrifices from families like these.
But what can we do as common law abiding citizens? Nothing but crib, blame the government. If you think so, you need to read my previous blog: They make sacrifices for ‘pathetic, losers with no self respect’, you would get some of the ideas that you could do to isolate the terror-istan and that too without using any sort of violence or protests. If you have more ideas like that, please do mention in the comment box.
Say no to war mongering, think different.
If you liked this article of mine, please stay tuned for the next one: “Step by step tutorial to destroy a nation without firing a single bullet.”
Thanks for reading!
An FPGA/Embedded Systems Development Engineer working on ADAS / Autonomous Vehicles and interested in Indian Politics.