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पटाखें सिर्फ दिवाली पर ही प्रदूषण क्यों फैलाते हैं?

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“दिव्य देश” के सुप्रीम कोर्ट ने हाल ही में अपना एक “ऐतिहासिक” फैसला सुनाते हुए “सिर्फ” दीपावली के अवसर पर पटाखे जलाने पर रोक लगा दी है. पटाखों पर लगी यह रोक सिर्फ १ नवम्बर तक के लिए ही है. इस तारीख के बाद पटाखे बेचे भी जा सकते हैं और जलाये भी जा सकते हैं. एक खोजी टी वी चैनल को यह बात कुछ हज़म नहीं हुयी सो उसने अपने एक होनहार रिपोर्टर को देश के पर्यावरण  मंत्री के पास  इंटरव्यू  लेने के लिए भेज दिया.

टी वी रिपोर्टर ने पर्यावरण मंत्री से मिलने का समय माँगा. मंत्री जी तो साक्षात्कार देने के लिए खुद ही उतावले हुए जा रहे थे. लिहाज़ा तय समय पर रिपोर्टर मंत्री जी के निवास पर पहुँच गया.

बिना किसी औपचारिकता के रिपोर्टर ने मंत्री जी से अपना पहला सवाल दागा- “सर, अपने “दिव्य देश” में पर्यावरण को लेकर लोग काफी जागरूक हो रहे हैं. अभी हाल ही में अपने सर्वोच्च न्यायालय ने भी इस मामले की गंभीरता समझते हुए दीपावली के मौके पर पटाखों की बिक्री और उन्हें जलाने पर रोक लगा दी है. अदालत के इस “ऐतिहासिक” फैसले पर आपका क्या कहना है?”

मंत्री जी ने अपने गुस्से को किसी तरह दबाते हुए जबाब दिया- “हमें क्या कहना है? अरे हमारी सुन कौन रहा है? पर्यावरण की चिंता हमसे ज्यादा अदालतों को हो रही है. अब इस देश को सरकारें और उनके मंत्री नहीं, अदालतें ही चला लेंगी. देखते हैं, यह सब कब तक चलता है.”

रिपोर्टर: लेकिन मंत्री महोदय, जिस तरह से देश प्रदूषण की समस्या की चपेट में आ चुका है, उसे देखते हुए अगर सरकार कोई कदम नहीं उठाएगी तो अदालतों को तो दखल देना ही पड़ेगा ना? उस पर आप इतना आग बबूला क्यों हुए जा रहे हैं?

मंत्री जी: पत्रकार महोदय, सिर्फ दीवाली के मौके पर पटाखों की बिक्री और जलाने पर रोक लगाने से इस देश से प्रदूषण की समस्या का समाधान हो जाता तो सरकार यह कदम कब का उठा चुकी होती और इस देश से प्रदूषण भी कब का खत्म हो गया होता.

रिपोर्टर: चलिए, अदालत ने तो सही गलत जो कुछ करना था सो कर दिया, अब आपकी सरकार और खुद आप इस मामले में क्या कार्यवाही करेंगे?

मंत्री जी: हमारी कैबिनेट कमेटी की मीटिंग आज रात ही होने वाली है. उस मीटिंग में हम सबसे पहले तो इस रहस्य्मय गुत्थी को सुलझाने का प्रयास करेंगे कि आखिर यह पटाखे सिर्फ दीपावली जैसे त्योहारों पर ही प्रदूषण क्यों फैलाते हैं? क्रिसमस या अंग्रेजी नए साल के मौके पर जो पटाखे बेचे जाते हैं और जलाये जाते हैं, अगर वे पटाखे किसी और तकनीक से बनाये जाते हैं तो बेहतर यही होगा कि उसी तकनीक से बनाये गए पटाखे दिवाली पर भी इस्तेमाल कर लिए जाएँ.

इस बार रिपोर्टर चकरा गया. मंत्री जी ने भी पहली बार एक समझदारी भरी बात कर डाली थी. खैर अपने को सँभालते हुए रिपोर्टर ने फिर सवाल कर दिया- “मंत्री महोदय आप यह कह रहे हैं कि दिवाली के अलावा अन्य सभी अवसरों और त्योहारों पर बेचे जाने वाले और जलाये जाने वाले पटाखों से प्रदूषण नहीं फैलता है- यह अनोखी बात आपको किसने बताई?”

मंत्री जी: बुरा मत मानना, आप पत्रकार हो या घसियारे हो? अदालत के फैसले से तुम्हे यह बात समझ में नहीं आयी क्या? अदालती फैसले के हिसाब से पटाखों की बिक्री और जलाये जाने पर सिर्फ १ नवम्बर तक की ही रोक है. कोई भी समझदार आदमी इसका जो मतलब निकलेगा, वही आप भी निकाल लो और अपने चैनल की टी आर पी बढ़ाने पर ध्यान दो.

रिपोर्टर अब मंत्री जी के बढ़ते गुस्से को भांप गया था और उसने अपना बोरिया बिस्तर वहां से समेटने में ही अपनी भलाई समझी. मंत्री जी को समय देने के लिए शुक्रिया करता हुआ वह फटाफट वहां से खिसक लिया

(इस व्यंग्य रचना के सभी पात्र एवं घटनाएं  काल्पनिक हैं)

धर्म का चश्मा उतारिए जनाब, आप संकट में हैं

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‪हाल ही में सुप्रीम कोर्ट का एक फ़ैसला दिल्ली में पटाके बेचने पर रोक लगाने के संबंध में आया और बहस सी छिड़ गयी ,मुझे भी हिंदू होने के नाते इस बात का दुःख है की सुप्रीम कोर्ट मेरे धार्मिक मामले में हस्तक्षेप करता दिखता है मगर मोदी जी से उम्मीद करना की वो विधेयक लाए ओर इस फ़ैसले को बदल दे कहाँ तक‬ जायज़ है?

क्या आप चाहते है जो सरकार appeasement for none की पॉलिसी पर बनी है उसे किसी एक धर्म के लोगों को ख़ुश रखने के लिए ऐसा करना चाहिए? अगर इसका उत्तर हाँ है, तो हम क्यूँ राजीव गांधी को ग़लत मानते हैं जिन्होंने एक धर्म के लोगों को ख़ुश करने के लिए एक ऐसा फ़ैसला लिया था जिसकी क़ीमत उस धर्म की महिलाओं को अब तक चुकानी पड़ी और अब जाकर सुप्रीम कोर्ट के फ़ैसले से मुस्लिम महिलाओं को कुछ हद तक अब राहत मिली।

दीपावली हमारा प्रमुख पर्व है मगर क्या ये हम नहीं जानते की आजकल जो पटाखे इस्तेमाल होते हैं उसमें कितने तरीक़े के रसायन का इस्तेमाल होता है? पूर्व में सिर्फ़ गंधक और पोटाश को ही पटाखे के तौर पर इस्तेमाल किया जाता था जो कि बहुत हद तक उस कार्य को पूरा करता था जिसके लिए हमने पटाके जलाने की प्रथा बनायी, और क्या आप अपने दिल पर हाथ रखकर कह सकते हैं कि आपको दिल्ली के अंदर के ख़राब वातावरण की चिंता नहीं?

और अपनी आने वाली पीढ़ी के लिए आपकी कोई ज़िम्मेदारी नहीं? अलग अलग तरीक़े के तर्क दिए जा रहे हैं की लोगों के रोज़गार पर फ़र्क़ पड़ेगा तो क्या सिर्फ़ इसलिए की कुछ चंद लोग बेरोज़गार हो जाएँगे हम ये सब हानिकारक धुआँ बर्दाश्त कर ले, जो पटाके का काम करते हैं उनके लिए कुछ सोचा जा सकता है मगर एक बार और ये पटाके यही दिल्ली में जलने दिए जाए तो ये ग़लत होगा।

सरकार गंगा सफ़ाई की बात कर रही है मगर लोग पुरानी प्रथाओं हवाला देकर कुछ ना कुछ हर दिन गंगा में मिला रहे है ना! सिर्फ़ प्रथाओं का हवाला देकर हर बुरी आदत को बचाया नहीं जा सकता, समाज को आगे आकर ज़िम्मेदारी लेकर संकल्प लेना होगा और कुछ सही नहीं है तो बदलना होगा।

मुझे पूरा भरोसा है की मोदी सरकार बिना किसी दवाब में फ़ैसला लेगी और सभी धर्म के ठेकेदारों को ये संदेश भी देगी की धर्म कोई भी क्यूँ ना हो सरकार हर तरीक़े के सुधारो के साथ है जैसा की ट्रिपल तलाक़ के लिए किया गया।

SC banned crackers not because they were causing pollution but because there is a ‘virtual consensus’ in society for the ban!

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A great debate goes on in the country today on the ‘cracker ban’ in NCR ordered by the Supreme Court. In spite of this raging debate across media, it is surprising, or perhaps not so surprising, that the actual reasons for the ban, as stated by the Supreme Court itself, and other critical aspects of the judgment remain completely unanalyzed both on the Main stream media and the Social Media.

Read on for some surprising facts about this judgment as given by the Supreme court itself in its own judgement. It is important to first clear out two main misconceptions that everyone has on the reasons for the ‘Cracker ban.’

First Misconception- That Diwali fireworks are the Big / Main reason for Delhi’s Polluted Air:
Am I out of my mind to say that it’s a misconception? No. It’s not me but the Supreme Court itself which says that fireworks are not the main reason for Delhi’s polluted air. Please read the extract from the judgment passed by Justice Madan B. Lokur and Justice Deepak Gupta on September 12, 2017 to know the truth.

Second Misconception – That Crackers have been banned to prevent pollution in Delhi!
When the Court itself says that Crackers are not the main cause for pollution then surely it cannot suggest a ban to prevent pollution, can it? What then is the reason given by the Court for the ban? The reason is “..to test and find out if it helps prevent pollution!” Do not believe me? Read the extract from the latest judgement passed by Justice AK Sikri, Justice AM Sapre and Justice Ashok Bhushan on October 9th 2017.

The above, however, are not the most surprising aspects of the judgements. There is a lot more to it. Read the remaining part of the above point 14.

You would note that from the earlier judgment of September 12 wherein the Court categorically stated that there is no clear proof of pollution linked to Diwali fireworks, the latest judgment states that Diwali fireworks cause a deterioration in air quality to an extent that the city begins to choke!

How did the view of the Hon’ble Supreme Court change as radically as above in span of just 27 days?

Was some new research done or data provided to the Court to prompt it to change its stance? No! The data is the same – A Study done by IIT Kanpur. It is worth noting that this study by IIT Kanpur has

  1. Neither listed Diwali Fireworks amongst the causes of Delhi’s Air Pollution ( See major contributors to Delhi Pollution in Tables below)
  2. Nor is banning / reducing fireworks even remotely suggested in the action plan to improve Air Quality in Delhi. (See Table 6)

Main contributors to Pollution in Delhi – on the five main parameters of Air Quality.

Action Plan presented by IIT Kanpur to improve Air Quality in Delhi

As can be seen, the words Diwali or Fireworks don’t even find mention here. What then led to the Hon’ble Court changing its stance and concluding that Diwali fireworks is a contributor to Delhi’s Air pollution and that it should be tackled first to clean Delhi Air?

The change in stance, seems to have come about because of an “emphatic and passionate plea….” by the  Counsel for the petitioners! Read the extract of the judgment.

Of the three counts on which the counsel made the emphatic & passionate plea, the one which seems to have cut ice with the Hon’ble Court is a ‘plea’ to “test out a Diwali without fireworks!”

So, let the dear countrymen rejoice on being saved from a pollutant which has not been ‘identified as a pollutant and one which has not even been included in the action plan to combat pollution by the experts who have conducted a comprehensive study on the subject!

The countrymen would also be happy to note that there is a “virtual consensus” in the country that crackers should not be burnt during Diwali and that the Hon’ble Court’s Order on the ban is nothing but an effort to give effect to this already prevailing consensus!

Read and extract from the judgment talking about this consensus.

The following questions deserve to be asked and answered:

  • How did the Hon’ble Court get to know of this ‘virtual consensus?’
  • How did the ‘consensus’ evolve in favour of the ban from of widespread consensus against the ban that has prevailed in the country ever since the tyrant Aurangazeb first banned crackers in India?
  • And how suddenly did this consensus break down in the country, as can be seen from widespread outrage against the order, immediately after the passing of this order?

I hope that there is some petition that can be filed to seek answers from the Hon’ble Court

दिल्ली में पटाखों पर बैन

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रामलाल- अरे ठाकुर साहिब कुछ सुना आपने, गफ़ूर कह रहा था कोर्ट ने दिल्ली में पटाखों पर बैन लगा दिया है|

ठाकुर साहब- हाँ रामलाल, सुना हमने भी| असल में कोर्ट चाहता है कि दिल्ली का पर्यावरण बहुत दूषित हो गया है और पटाखों पर बैन लगा कर इसको सुधारा जा सकता है|

रामलाल- अच्छा! ये तो बहुत ही अच्छी बात हुई| अगर दिवाली के पटाखों पर बैन लगने से पर्यावर्ण सुधारता है तो जरूर बैन लगाना चाहिये|

ठाकुर साहब- हाँ भई सो तो है, लेकिन ये बैन तो बस कुछ ही दिनों का है, १ नवंबर से फिर से पटाखे खरीदे बेचे जा सकेंगे|

रामलाल- अच्छा, तो क्या नये साल पर पटाखे जलाने पर कोई रोक नहीं रहेगी?

ठाकुर साहब- अरे नहीं रे रामलाल, दिवाली ख़त्म होते ही पटाखे फोड़ने की पूरी आजादी होगी.

रामलाल- अच्छा? तो मतलब ये कि समस्या तो वहीं की वहीं रह गई फिर!

ठाकुर साहब- अरे नहीं, ऐसी बात कोई नहीं है. सुना है की फैसला सुनाने वाले जज साहिब ने और भी बहुत से क्रांतिकारी कदम उठाए हैं|

रामलाल- वो क्या?

ठाकुर साहब- सुना है की जज साहिब अब से साइकल से ही कोर्ट आया जाया करेंगे और ऑफिस में एसी भी नहीं चलाएंगे. और हमने तो यहां तक सुना है कि उन्होने अपने घर के सारे एसी भी हटवा दिये हैं|

रामलाल- वाह, ऐसे ही तो होते हैं महान लोग. जो दूसरों को उपदेश नहीं देते फिरते बल्कि खुद भी अपने उपदेशों का पालन करते हैं. कोई ऐरा गैरा जज होता तो पटाखों पर बैन लगा देता लेकिन अपनी कार और एसी कभी ना छोड़ता. तो क्या जितने भी पर्यावरण प्रेमी हैं वो भी अब साइकल से ही ऑफिस आया जाया करेंगे? और अब दिल्ली में एसी नहीं चलेगा?

ठाकुर साहब- हाँ रामलाल, सभी पर्यावरण प्रेमी लोग जज साहिब की ही तरह अपनी अपनी कार और एसी का त्याग करने की कसम खा चुके हैं अपने अपने बच्चों के सर पर हाथ रखके| अब दिल्ली की हवा इतनी शुद्ध हो जायेगी की पूछो मत|

रामलाल- सच में, यदि ऐसा है तो जज साहिब के लिये हम सच्चे मन से ईश्वर से प्रार्थना करेंगे| वर्ना दुनिया में कुछ दुष्ट ऐसे भी होते हैं जो बस हिन्दुओं के त्योहारों को बर्बाद करने में लगे रहते हैं| अब कोई भी जज साहिब के इस निर्णय पर उंगली नहीं उठा सकेगा|

ठाकुर साहब- सही कहा रामलाल, यदि जज साहिब और सारे पर्यावरण प्रेमी अपनी अपनी कार और एसी का त्याग ना कर देते तो दुनिया यही कहती की प्रदूषण तो एक बहाना है, असल उद्देश्य तो हिन्दुओं को नीचा दिखाने का है|

रामलाल- लेकिन फिर भी समस्या रह गई तो रह ही गई, १ नवंबर के बाद क्या होगा?

ठाकुर साहब- अरे, १ नवंबर के बाद तो चमत्कार होगा चमत्कार, देखते जाओ बस|

रामलाल- वो कैसे?

ठाकुर साहब- सुना है कि जज साहिब और पर्यावरण प्रेमी मिलकर कोई ऐसी दवाई लाए हैं जिसको गाड़ी में डालते ही पेट्रोल के विषैले धुएँ की जगह ऑक्सिजन निकलेगा|

रामलाल- और नये साल के पटाखों का क्या?

ठाकुर साहब- अरे कैसे मूर्खों की तरह बात करते हो… नये साल के पटाखों में तो धर्मनिरपेक्षता की खुशबू होगी, बोलने की आजादी कि धमक होगी, चारों तरफ खुशियाँ ही खुशियाँ होंगी|

रामलाल- (एक गहरी सांस छोड़ते हुए) सही कहते हो ठाकुर साहिब… सारी समस्या दिवाली तक की ही है| एक बार दिवाली निकल जाये तो जी भर के पटाखे चलाओ, गाड़ियों का धुआँ छोडो, एसी की गैस छोडो, कोई समस्या नहीं होगी|

ठाकुर साहब- सही पकड़े हो रामलाल, सारी समस्या दिवाली की ही है|

रामलाल- बाजार में गफ़ूर मिला था, बड़ा ही घबराया हुआ था…. कह रहा था की अब बकरीद को भी बैन कर दिया जायेगा क्यूंकि खून धोने में हर शहर और गाँव में हजारों लीटर पानी बर्बाद हो जाता है|

ठाकुर साहब- अरे हमारा कोर्ट इतना मूर्ख थोड़े ही है. पानी बचाना है तो बकरीद पर नहीं बल्कि होली पर बचाया जा सकता है ना !

रामलाल- हाँ, ये भी ठीक है. और क्या अब बचों के खेल कूद पर भी बैन लगने वाला है?

ठाकुर साहब- ऐसा क्यूं?

रामलाल- पिछले साल कोर्ट ने ही तो कहा था कि जन्माष्टमी पर 20 फुट से उँचा पिरमिड बनाने से और 18 साल से कम लोगों को लाने से किसी की जान भी जा सकती है|

ठाकुर साहब- अरे, वो तो सिर्फ जन्माष्टमी के लिये कहा था| इसका ये मतलब थोड़े ही है कि 18 साल से कम के बच्चे को स्विमिंग पूल में नहीं उतरने देंगे, घुड़सवारी नहीं करने देंगे या पहाड़ नहीं चढ़ने देंगे. या मुहर्रम पर खून नहीं बहाने देंगे|

रामलाल- लेकिन दुर्घटना से मौत तो उधर भी हो सकती है|

ठाकुर साहब- अरे मौत तो कहीं भी हो सकती है लेकिन हर जगह धर्मनिरपेक्षता तो नहीं दिखाई जा सकती ना! जन्माष्टमी, होली और दिवाली पर रंग में भंग नहीं करेंगे तो धर्मनिरपेक्षता का क्या होगा?

रामलाल- तो क्या सारी धर्मनिरपेक्षता हिन्दुओं के त्योहारों पर ही दिखाई जाती रहेगी?

ठाकुर साहब- और नहीं तो क्या. तुम कोई मुसलमान थोड़े ही हो कि शाहबानो पर कोर्ट के निर्णय को संसद में पलटवा दोगे. बूढ़ा बाप भी उसी बेटे को ज्यादा चिल्लाता है जो बेचारा चुपचाप सब सुन लेता है.

रामलाल- तो क्या हमारी सरलता की कीमत ऐसे ही बार बार अपमानित होकर चुकानी पड़ेगी?

ठाकुर साहब- भई रामलाल, अपमान तो उनका होता है जिनका कोई मान हो. हम और तुम तो दूसरे दर्जे के नागरिक हैं, जिसके जी में आये पिछवाड़े पर दो लात मार कर निकल लेता है. कभी सुना तुमने की किसी बुद्धिजीवी ने, कोर्ट ने, सरकार ने मुसलमानों या ईसाइयों पर उंगली उठाई हो?

रामलाल- सही कहा ठाकुर साहिब, हमीं लोग हैं कि जिनको कोई भी दिग्गी और मनीष तिवारी जैसा ऐरा गैरा चू… मूर्ख और अंधा कह कर निकल जाता है. उधर तो डर के मारे पतलून गीली हो जाती है|

ठाकुर साहब- सही कहा. सोनू निगम अजान पर बोले तो सम्प्रदायिक हो जाता है, गौरी लंकेश हिन्दू धर्म के विरुद्ध बोले तो बुद्धि जीवी हो जाती है. सब डरा के पतलून गीली कर सकने का खेल है.

रामलाल- सही कहा ठाकुर साहिब, जो जितना डराएगा वो उतना सम्मान पायेगा.सारी जिंदगी कुत्ते की तरह अपमानित होने के बाद एक ही बात समझ आई है की हिन्दुओं ने भी अगर जूते खाने की बजाय डराना सीख लिया होता तो आज दिवाली पर पटाखे बैन ना हुए होते.

माँ हिन्दू को गाली देदे, मैं लिबरल बन जाऊंगा

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माँ हिन्दू को गाली देदे, मैं लिबरल बन जाऊंगा.
जे एन यू के गेट पे चढ कर अफजल अफजल गाऊंगा.

बाटला हाउस पर रोऊँगा और, इशरत को बहन बनाऊंगा,
कश्मीरी हिन्दू के आगे आँखें खूब चुराऊँगा,
माँ हिन्दू को गाली देदे, मैं लिबरल बन जाऊंगा.

रोहिंग्या पर कूट के छाती, आंसू खूब बहाऊंगा,
पाकिस्तानी हिन्दू पर मैं मौन व्रती बन जाऊंगा,
माँ हिन्दू को गाली देदे, मैं लिबरल बन जाऊंगा.

हिन्दू अपना हक़ मांगे तो संघी उसे बताऊंगा,
मुस्लमान जब चिल्लाए तो, साथ खड़ा हो जाऊंगा,
माँ हिन्दू को गाली देदे, मैं लिबरल बन जाऊंगा.

दिवाली के आते ही मैं, पर्यावरण खूब बचाऊंगा,
आते ही बकरीद के तुझको, बिरयानी खूब खिलाऊंगा,
माँ हिन्दू को गाली देदे, मैं लिबरल बन जाऊंगा.

करवाचौथ से नारी को आजादी मैं दिलवाऊंगा,
पर बुरके वाली दिखते ही मैं, शीश तुरत नवाऊँगा,
माँ हिन्दू को गाली देदे, मैं लिबरल बन जाऊंगा.

हिन्दू को गाली देने को असली प्रगति मानूंगा,
रश्दी और तस्लीमा को मैं, दुश्मन अपना जानूँगा,
माँ हिन्दू को गाली देदे, मैं लिबरल बन जाऊंगा.

अपनी फ़ौज को बलात्कारी कहकर, बुद्धिजीवी बन जाऊंगा,
आतंकवादी से प्रेम जताकर, सेक्युलर कहलाऊंगा,
माँ हिन्दू को गाली देदे, मैं लिबरल बन जाऊंगा.

दही हांडी से जली कटटू तक, सब पर स्टे लाऊंगा,
क्रिस्मस और मुहर्रम पर मैं बधाई संदेश फैलाऊंगा,
माँ हिन्दू को गाली देदे, मैं लिबरल बन जाऊंगा.

बीजेपी के वोटर को मैं, मुर्ख चूतिया बतलाऊंगा,
ओवैसी के वोटर को मैं, सेक्युलर बतलाऊंगा,
माँ हिन्दू को गाली देदे, मैं लिबरल बन जाऊंगा.

जुनैद और लंकेश पे मैं तो खून के आंसू रोऊँगा,
मालदा पूर्णिया हो जाने दो, मैं जी भर के सोऊंगा.

माँ हिन्दू को गाली देदे, मैं लिबरल बन जाऊंगा,
जे एन यू के गेट पे चढ कर अफजल अफजल गाऊंगा.

कविता: जज साहिब से पूछ कर..

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दीप जलाओ, दीप जलाओ, जज साहिब से पूछ कर….
आज दिवाली रे.

खुशी-खुशी सब हंसते आओ, जज साहिब से पूछ कर….
आज दिवाली रे.

मैं तो लूंगा खेल-खिलौने, जज साहिब से पूछ कर….
तुम भी लेना भाई

नाचो, गाओ, खुशी मनाओ, जज साहिब से पूछ कर….
आज दिवाली आई.

आज पटाखे खूब चलाओ जज साहिब से पूछ कर….
आज दिवाली रे.

दीप जलाओ, दीप जलाओ जज साहिब से पूछ कर….
आज दिवाली रे.

नए-नए मैं कपड़े पहनूं, जज साहिब से पूछ कर….
खाऊं खूब मिठाई.

हाथ जोड़कर पूजा कर लूं जज साहिब से पूछ कर….
आज दिवाली आई.

खाओ मित्रों, खूब मिठाई, जज साहिब से पूछ कर….
आज दिवाली रे.

दीप जलाओ, दीप जलाओ, जज साहिब से पूछ कर….
आज दिवाली रे.

आज दुकानें खूब सजी हैं जज साहिब से पूछ कर….
घर भी जगमग करते .

झिलमिल-झिलमिल दीप जले हैं जज साहिब से पूछ कर….
कितने अच्छे लगते.

आओ, नाचो, खुशी मनाओ, जज साहिब से पूछ कर….
आज दिवाली रे.

दीप जलाओ, दीप जलाओ, जज साहिब से पूछ कर….
आज दिवाली रे.

Why the court ban on firecrackers has left many Hindus fuming

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In an unexpected move Supreme Court banned sale of firecrackers in Delhi, cancelling all the licences so far issued by Delhi Police to these shops. Imposition of ban is a result of a PIL filed by three toddlers through their parents in 2015. Abhishek Singhvi appeared as counsel to ban firecrackers. Ban came when traders already had stocked the firecrackers.

Soon after the order anger & outrage erupted all over social media. A heavyweight twitter handle asked Modi government to bring an ordinance to circumvent the SC order.

Dr Harshvardhan who supported the decision had to delete his tweets by late evening realising his posts have not gone down well.

It is not difficult to understand why court’s ban on firecrackers has caused a deep furore:

Anand Rangnathan has written a sharp, incisive article on Delhi & pollution, in a lengthy write up full of facts and figures he pointed out that pollution in Delhi is mostly caused by vehicles, plants, industries, and dusting of roads. This is supported by IIT Kanpur study on pollution.

Diesel vehicles are notorious in releasing pollutants which throng roads in large numbers every day. It may not be wrong to assume that luxurious SUVs carrying judges also contribute to pollution.

Banning firecrackers is based on assumption that bursting them releases pollutants and creates smog which makes already toxic air of Delhi impossible to breathe. In a sharp rebuttal it was proved not to be the case, ‘pollutant level on Diwali day falls well below the mean levels by the next day’, This article was supported by statistical study.

With the ban in place Hindus feel alienated in own land, where they are reminded they need permission on how to celebrate their festivals and rituals. Where they must survive daily mocking of leftists. Courts at the same time turn blind eye to Islamic traditions:

Hindus feel let down when they see judgements like firecrackers ban being used by leftists to mock them in face.

Recently Karvachauth was mocked at by so called activists, knowing fully well they have nothing to lose while provoking the majority.

In Eastern India, Mamata Banerjee is breathing fire on Hindu festivals, Despite high court ruling she restricted Durga visarjan on Muharram. In past she has passed adverse comments on Ramnavmi.

Court refuses to entertain pollution issue associated with Bakrid but is ready to contemplate height of Dahi Handi.

While court is quick to muffle celebration on Ganesh Utsav & Navratra with sound restriction, it doesn’t ensure that its order against early morning Aazan is enforced.

Not long ago two well-known celebrity took up up discomfort caused by Azaan. Sonu tweeted on how Azaan is distressing him early in the morning.

Singer ended up with a tonsured head, a fatwa on him and a deactivated twitter account with millions of followers! The other one commenting on Azaan, Suchitra Krishnamurthy was bombarded with sexual abuses for letting her displeasure known.

Many see court ban on firecrackers as an oncoming freight train with the beacon, which will systematically target Hindu festivals one by one. Once ban in Delhi is successful, template will be implemented across states- starting with possibly West Bengal & Kerala. If the trend continues: Holi, Ganesh Puja, Onam: each and every festival will be attacked till there is none remaining!

If firecrackers cause pollution on Diwali, they should do same all over year, curiously court has imposed ban till 01 Nov only, implying it is OK to burst crackers on Christmas & New Year Eve!

Shiela Dixit has been quick to jump in, capitalising on resentment caused by ban. Delhi is state of businesses, ban is likely to cause massive loss of revenue and jobs to thousands of  workers in Shivkasi which has been traditional hub of firecrackers manufacturing. Also since the order came out after the traders had stocked the firecrackers, no one will dare to stockpile it next year since a judgement can hit any time.

The firecracker ban is a litmus test for BJP who came in power riding on Hindutva and development. With court turning selective, onus is entirely on Modi government to bring an ordinance reversing the order! When court imposed restrictions on Jallikattu & Dahi Handi, it was celebrated with even greater fervour. Decisions of court must be perceived by people as one that is beneficial to the society, if not such a judgement ceases to have value, if an order results in civil disobedience very purpose of judgement is defeated.

After this silent Diwali expect leftist media houses to publish article with fudged study done in span of a week regarding how cracker less festival resulted in pollution at all time low and Delhi is now healthier! This will then be lapped up by media across the world and used to demonise Hindus. As someone rightly said This Diwali, light a diya and weep!

Sons of Soil – Is it still needed in today’s cosmopolitan Mumbai?

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When Mr Donald Trump won the Presidential elections in 2016, a youngster from the BMC ruling Shiv Sena put out an status on his Facebook page, that Sons of Soil is a reality and something that was accepted and voted for by the Americans as well. USA which has so far been the most progressive democracy in the world in terms of its social literacy voted for someone who said Americans first and then others. Even the whole world might rue at it now, but the fact of the matter is that this man is now elected as the most powerful man of the free world.

In India, Tamilians have voted for their Dravidian parties since 1967 without giving an inch to the national parties to enter their land. Maharashtra has had their most tallest mass political leader in Mr Bal Thackeray who from 1966 to 2012 championed the cause for the resident Marathi Manoos but eventually had it sidelined post 1990 when the nation was going through a Hindutva wave.

Needless to note, that the Hindutva agenda helped him win the 1995 Maharashtra assembly elections (the only time his party could win it, despite being the most impressive orator of his time). His estranged nephew Mr Raj Thackeray started his own party MNS in 2006 with the same agenda. But after initial success in 2009, the party went on a downhill something that is yet to be resurrected. So that brings us to the question that is it still a bankable agenda for winning an election?. It isn’t, But does that mean it can be neglected. Definitely not.

Mumbai has been the dream destination for all folks in the country who wish to make it big in this country and abroad. It started with the inflow of Sindhis post partition in 1947, then the Tamilians in 1950s and then the mercantile class of Gujaratis, Marwadis & Punjabis in 1960s. Shiv Sena was formed in 1966 to arrest the growing influence of Tamilians in the job market (Maharashtrians have been traditionally a working class (blue and white)). Even though their numbers dwindled over the years, it is still an issue for  Shiv Sena/ MNS. So where did they go wrong?. Are the Maharashtrians at fault?. Perhaps yes.

Maharashtrians traditionally boast of having decorated people in arts,music,sports and culture. The legacy continues till date too. However, they live in silos and don’t believe much in community building and benefit of their community. This was one of the primary reason why the mercantile class developed such a strong foothold in this city. Secondly, they are one of the most mercurial people when it comes to work. They are hardworking as well as defiant too. Something that caused lakhs of mill workers to lose their jobs post the Textile Mill Strike in 1982.

The North Indians who came in 1980s capitalised on this and have developed such a strong foothold in the organised as well as unorganised sector that the unrest against them led to MNS toeing the agenda something that Shiv Sena had started against Tamilians in 1966. But who is responsible for situation worsening for the locals from 1960s to 2017. Even though Maharashtra became the numero uno state in India (which it still is), the local population wasn’t even considered the architect behind it. I being a Mahasrashtrian myself would not only blame the leaders of that time but also self too. 

As i mentioned earlier, the silos living cost us big time. When Bhuj had a earthquake in 2001, miilions of rupees flowed from Gujaratis to Gujarat for its Reconstruction. Dozens of colleges were started by the mercantile class in Mumbai for their communities and we Maharashtrians stupidly advocated that we don’t have any quota anywhere. But does that mean there is no way out now for the locals?

They are the ones who built the city. They are the ones who provided the two most important factors of production i.e Land & Labour. Even though the politicians failed in their duties, its time the current local population shred its traditional traits and do what others who came from their far off homelands could do in Mumbai. Yes if it requires hard-work, perseverance and risk, so be it. Instead of breaking taxis and buses, we should look for better education, better jobs and better business avenues.

The time for cribbing that our jobs and businesses are taken by others is over. Jews after losing everything post Holocaust could still build Israel and make it most dominant and tough sectarian power in Middle East despite growing influence of Islam. It is achievable; only the mindset needs to be changed. 

As for the governing class, the least they could do is promote the local youth by initiatives like Skill India, Start Up India & Make in India with certain relaxations for the local youth. This is something can be reviewed once the community can uplift itself. It can use the permit system in cities like Mumbai to regulate migrant influx since the the load of the city is about to break; something that was proven in August 29 floods and September 29 stampede.

No doubt any person is free to work anywhere in the country but there needs to be a stopgap somewhere. Yes the locals are not getting opportunities (due to controllable and non controllable reasons). If this is not checked in time, a civil war is the inevitable thing we are inviting. Instead, legislative decisions as I mentioned above can be the best way to create a balance between all classes and so that all the classes leave in harmony for centuries to come.

No doubt, The mercantile class is credited for making Mumbai the financial hub and Maximum city. With regards to Rajnikanth , I am proud that he says he is a Tamilian even without he being born one. That is how one should be. Thankful and grateful towards the land which gave you everything. Aamir Khan and Akshay Kumar have shown great love towards Mumbai and Maharashtra in the recent times.

Also would love all other Mumbaikars who have made their fortune here after coming from different parts of the country to have such gratitude and love for this land which gave them everything. Because, it doesn’t make sense to proudly say that Mumbai is there due to us and if we go Mumbai will come to a halt. Instead, they should be grateful for all what this land has given them.

We all are spokes of a wheel and we all need each and everyone of us for our success. No one should try to take others space and then only we can achieve the ride of development in a true way.

Lets together develop each other by removing entry barriers, embracing everyone and working towards making Mumbai as a city like New York where locals along with migrants have had just share of resources & opportunities for centuries till date.

Jai Hind!!!! Jai Maharashtra!!!!

The curious case of crackers polluting once out of 365 days

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Recently the commanding court of Mahishmati under the Chief Commander Shivgami Devi ordered the ban on the sale of crackers on the festival of Diwali in the region’s capital. The news has come as a relief for citizens of Mahishmati who have been suffering due to the high level of pollution emanating by the bursting of crackers. Going a step further Mahishmati’s court has added the following in their order with immediate effect-

• With Immediate effect, all Mahishmati court judges, lawyers and staff will stop using any vehicles, air-conditioners, refrigerators and other such equipment that cause any pollution and will start using the bicycles, Matkas, hand held fans etc

• With immediate effect, all the above will shift into an apartment building with GREEN STATUS (only solar lighting and rain water available for usage) leaving their palatial bungalows on the river bank of Narmada that flows in the capital and has become a polluting giant.

• The palatial bungalows will be allotted to the Myanmar state guests for the temporary purpose till the suitable Villas are allotted to these distinguished state guests who continue to remain in the country till the Mahishmati court agrees.

• Mahishmati court has also banned the use of crackers on the Yindoos marriages, but has exempted the use of crackers on X mas and New Year to maintain Mahishmati’s historical secular traditions. Moreover Mahishmati court has recommended that Yindoos plan to marry their daughters to the people of other faiths and minority to make them feel secured in the kingdom as there have been strong media waves in Mahishmati that minority have been feeling scared.

• At last, Mahishmati court has also ordered the court judges to work 24/7 and 365 days a year to settle the long pending court cases and have stopped the Court Leave period with immediate effect.

All Mahishmati citizens have hailed the court decision and celebrating the decision by bursting the crackers in abundance. Moreover as the decision will be implemented from the next day, markets have reported that subjects have bought all crackers available in the market on heavy discounts and used them in celebratory mood. This bursting of crackers does not violate the court order as this one is for good cause.

Meanwhile the technical committee has reported that Pollution level were noted at all time low after the court announced its decision indicating that supreme powers in the universe have also appreciated the court order.

On behalf of all Yindoos, we welcome and thank My lords at Mahismati court for such wonderful piece of judgement.

Demonetisation – The game of “Catch me if you can”

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On December 30, 2016, when the window for depositing Demonetised currency notes closed, India somehow catapulted itself to the lowest rank in the world Corruption Perception Index from a rank of 76 in the previous year, thus getting better than the rest of the world. Yes, I am kidding you – what else can one say while looking at the data on deposits of cancelled notes due to Demonetisation as presented in RBI’s Annual report for 2016-17 ?

To understand this, one needs to look into the details on the old notes returned.

RBI allowed over the counter (OTC) exchange of old notes, to quickly make some cash available to the citizens for their immediate necessity. This was allowed only for 15 days for amounts ranging from Rs.4000-4500. Based on the feedback received, RBI quickly changed the rules and disallowed OTC exchange of old notes from 25th November 2016, leaving no option to citizens except to deposit their stash of old notes in to their accounts.

According to a RBI’s press release, only Rs.33,948 crores worth of old notes were exchanged OTC (2.2%). This works out to just around 8.0-8.5 crore exchanges OTC by around a similar number of citizens, assuming all exchanged the maximum amount allowed and none more than once. This makes it quite clear that if at all the investigating agencies wanted to identify the bulk of black money brought out by the citizens, they should look into the balance 97.8% of the old notes that was exchanged by depositing into the bank accounts.

This seems to have belied the expectation of the honourable Indian Prime Minister Shri.Narendra Modi who stated in his address on the night of 8th November 2016 “The five hundred and thousand rupee notes hoarded by anti-national and anti-social elements will become just worthless pieces of paper” Clearly, return of 99% of the old notes was quite an anti-climax that gave the opposition enough boost to demand the PM’s acceptance of a failure of the demonetisation exercise.

To understand how this happened, let us look further into details that had emerged subsequently. While presenting the budget for the FY 2017-18, the union Finance Minister Shri.Arun Jaitley mentioned the following about the deposits of old notes.

  • Amounts between Rs.2 lakhs to 80 lakhs were deposited into 1.09 crore accounts, totalling Rs.548,270 crores. Amounts over Rs.80 lakhs were deposited into 148,000 accounts, totalling Rs.489,880 crores.
  • Thus, 67.2% of the total value of old notes in circulation was returned in terms of high value deposits that are likely to have been made by HNIs, business men and businesses into their savings or current accounts.
  • It is deducible that, the balance Rs.455,902 crores (29.8%) deposited into bank accounts should have been in amounts less than Rs.2 lakhs. This amounts to an average deposit of Rs.36,000 in old notes from each of the 25 crore household in India. That is a whopping amount !

If the citizens of India have taken the courage to deposit such a huge amount of old notes into their accounts it would mean one of these two possibilities:

  • An overwhelming majority of the population had no black money at all with them and held the confident to explain the source of the cash they deposited, when asked for, without having to fear for any consequence.
  • A sizable amount of the old notes deposited was indeed black money but the depositors should have either adopted methods that made them quite confident of not getting caught or simply were taking a chance, if the past is anything to go by.

No sane person on this earth would believe in the first possibility as India is known for its corruption among politicians, bureaucrats, business men, government staff and even government hospital staff. Definitely not in a country where just around 2 crore citizens and 10 lakh businesses paid any income tax at all in the recent past years and where a sizable number of businesses managed to keep themselves out of the tax net (which is just now being addressed through introduction of GST).

As per RBI’s Basic Statistical Returns of SBCs, Indian banks had over 5.7 crores current accounts and 135 crores savings bank accounts as on 31st March 2016. There has been no restriction at all as to how many bank accounts a person, household or business can have. If someone had a huge amount of cash in old notes out of undisclosed income, the deposit could have been split between multiple accounts belonging to his / her own family, business or others who colluded with them for a commission. The data released by the Ministry of Corporate Affairs (MCA) last week, confirms that this modus operandi has been used by several of the shell companies to launder their black money.

The PM said “I have full confidence that every citizen will stand up and participate in this ‘mahayagna’. My dear countrymen, after the festivity of Diwali, now join the nation and extend your hand in this Imandaari ka Utsav, this Pramanikta ka Parv, this celebration of integrity, this festival of credibility”. If lakhs of citizens have resorted to hideous means of laundering their ill-gotten money, aren’t they failing their duty to stand on the moral high ground? Aren’t they failing their Prime Minister’s expectation by undermining the call for celebration of integrity?

This sadly indicates that a sizable population has taken it for granted that it would be difficult for the investigating agencies to even pick the scent of such deposits from among crores of transactions, let alone punish them. They might have wrongly assumed that the government wouldn’t be serious about taking punitive action against lakhs of citizens for depositing black money, as those who run the government will have to return to them for re-election very soon.

  • But reality points to otherwise, considering these :
    In today’s world of automated banking with mechanisms to profile the account holders, is not an insurmountable task to mine out suspicious transactions out of a few million. After all, the Indians are proven IT experts with Aadhar being the crown jewel of all automations in India.
  • In the last 3 years, the government has demonstrated its resolve for action by reducing the leakage of subsidy, which is another form for corruption, by single-mindedly pushing direct benefit transfer.
  • 209,032 shell companies without any real business or revenue have been struck off in one go from the registrar of companies and over 300,000 directors of those companies have been named and blacklisted for not doing their duty as directors.
  • A report in August quoting IT department claims that cash deposits of Rs.2,89,000 crores post note ban by 9.72 lakh persons in 13.33 lakh accounts were under radar. Also the recent report from MCA indicates unearthing of the first set of actionable data by banks themselves.
  • When Aadhar linking of all bank accounts is completed by 2017 end as planned, it should make it very easy for the authorities to link all accounts held by any individual and identify all deposits made not only during the note ban period but also much earlier.

It is heartening to note that the investigating agencies are making a slow and steady progress leading to firm actions. The government should use this opportunity and utilize all the resources at its disposal to impartially hunt and punish all those who miscalculated that they were smarter and entitled to carry out their corrupt dealings forever. Every offender, irrespective of whether he/she is a politician, bureaucrat, business bigwig, NGO, public entity or private citizen, should be dealt with firmly as per law, possibly in some order of priority.

Simply put, for those who challenged “catch me if you can”, the government should demonstrate beyond doubt that “it can and it will”. There might not be another opportunity at all !

In embracing the demonetisation, the country has sacrificed dearly in terms of lost GDP growth, a huge operational expenditure, loss of jobs, personal inconveniences and even deaths. These costs can be justified if and only if a substantial gain is made in terms of rooting out black money and making the citizens realize that further generation of black money through corruption would be unprofitable and unsustainable.

Indications are, the ‘Mahayagna’ started by our Honourable PM will continue and the dishonest will have to pay the price. After all, the PM owes it to the majority of the Indians who are honest and support him in the Imandaari ka Utsav.

Lastly, as several pundits have written, the value of the cancelled notes returned does not at all determine the success or the failure of demonetisation but it has already achieved several demonstrable results, like increase in direct tax collection, increase in IT filings, reduction in cash to GDP ratio, etc. Tangible action against black money depositors will only enhance its effects manifold.