New Delhi: Indian Government has ordered for a ban on NDTV following its unethical practice in displaying Pathankot Ops to its target customer base – Pakistani terrorists.
As a means of protest against the ban, Ravish ‘Jaat’ Kumar brought two mime artists to his most-watched (by two Indians) show NDTV Prime Time. While Residential Non Indians (RNIs) and Pakistanis have cheered the show, there had been some shocking reports from the BARC India, the TRP tracking agency.
As per reports from BARC India, the only two Indians who had been watching NDTV for a long time had stopped watching the show when it was halfway yesterday. An analyst from the agency spoke to us on conditions of anonymity, “That day, I was relaxing in my seat and watching the impressions in our tracking software. There were two dots from India for the NDTV prime time hosted by Ravish. Ten minutes into the show, those two dots disappeared. I was shocked and waited for an hour. But it never reappeared.”
“In a panic mode, I rushed to my boss and asked whether the ban on NDTV was imminent, but he replied in negative. It was then we realized that we lost the only two viewers of NDTV. I really miss seeing those two dots. So, I took the support of our team which deals with Cable operators and tracked down the coordinates and got their addresses. If you want to see such rare species, I can share you those addresses.”, concluded the analyst. He was gracious enough to share their details.
Our investigative team placed calls to those two last loyal viewers of NDTV. One was in Bihar and another was in Delhi. While Delhi man did not respond to our calls, Bihar man was kind enough to answer. “I had been watching NDTV, especially for Ravish Kumar. I had been a fan of him ever since he used to ask caste of people. Lastly, I saw a show where he brought two guys with white paints on their faces. Usually, I would be half-sleepy waiting for the word ‘jaat‘ to wake me up. But, those white painted faces made me lose my sleep. I was so confused by their language and actions that I got irritated and broke the TV. A few minutes later, my brother from Delhi also called and said he shot the TV with his pistol, after watching that mime faces.”
(This is a satirical piece)