Two journalists discussing Exit Polls

A strong western media house sends a reporter to report from GROUND ZERO:

The mood has been rather upbeat since 8 December 2018 in Indian branch. EXIT POLLS are showing EARLY SIGNS of @narendramodi wave FINALLY COMING to a grinding halt!

The reporter has been asked to liaise with WHO IS WHO of INDIAN MEDIA. He is aware that they will be rather very busy hopping from one studio to the other. He has to meet them break the news to their HEAD OFFICE that MODI WAVE ENDED PREMATURELY. He finally gets a breakfast meeting at 7.30AM from a famous neutral journalist.

The neutral journalist who has been rather depressed since 5 years was suddenly in her most cheerful self!

“You alright.. you seem to be happy “asks the reporter

“Something unprecedented, unbelievable has happened. Can YOU BELIEVE.. MODI is losing 5-0”

Western reporter(WR) observing her.. “wow! If that happens that will be MENTAL”

NEUTRAL JOURNALIST (NJ) : “IT IS HAPPENING.. matter of few hours”

WR: 😇

NJ : i have to be in Mumbai studios at 9.30..lets finish quickly..

WR: Let me understand few basic things.. for my CONSUMPTION.. and ARTICLE..

NJ: surely

WR: Do you really really think MODI WAVE ENDED PREMATURELY!?

NJ : DUH!

WR : Let me paraphrase this.. WHY do YOU THINK it ENDED?

NJ : DUH!

WR : OK.. let me ask.. How authentic are POLL OF POLLS?

NJ : Duh! you are talking like BHAKTS! You don’t seem to WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH!

WR: What is it?

NJ: Duh!

WR: Why do you think it ended then? I don’t understand.. I don’t have any story to break!

NJ : I thought you guys are smarter! MODI WAVE IS ENDING! PEOPLE who supported HIM are not voting him!!!

WR: Wow!! How do you know? No sorry go on..

NJ : duh! what else can i give you?

WR: lol! Let me ask WHY ARE THEY NOT VOTING HIM?

NJ : DUH!

WR : Why?

NJ: Demonitization, GST failed

WR: Really?

NJ : hmm..

WR: Hit me I can take it

NJ: It succeeded thats why

WR: OMG!

WR: Unbelievable! Are you saying? IT SUCCEEDED that’s why they are not voting @narendramodi

NJ : You ain’t that sharp!

WR: Jesus! But in debates you say the opposite!

NJ: I will go now! you are boring me!

WR: Oh please!

WR: So.. But.. so.. DID THEY NOT WANT HIM in first place?

NJ : rolling eyes..

WR: Then, then? INTERNAL SABOTAGE?

NJ : Crazy! That’s 1990s!

WR: Wait! Wait! Take it slowly.. I know I am jet lagged ..

WR: So Rahul finally in the RACE?

NJ : HE IS NOT EVEN IN THE PICTURE!

WR: WHAT? Stop toying me!!!!

NJ: He is just a scarecrow!

WR: Jesus!!!! Is it coffee or you!?! It’s hitting me!!!

NJ: exaptation, punctuated equilibrium, and, species selectionism

WR : O.M.G! I thought Congress revived itself!!

NJ : No BLOODY CHANCE!!!

WR: FFS!!! i am going MENTAL!!

NJ : NOW you share MY EXCITEMENT!!! Welcome to INDIA bruv!!!

WR: Jesus!!!

WR : so MODI HAS EXCELLED! 10/10 APPROVAL..

NJ : BINGO

WR: people are happy with him? 10/10

NJ : YESSSS

WR: RAHUL is NOT IN THE SCENE?

NJ: ‘Come and see the violence inherent in the system. Help! Help! I’m being repressed!’

WR: oh Monty python?

WR: aaaah.. so CASTE RESERVATIONS aye?

NJ : That’s just TRP… you should do some research before coming here!!!

WR: They are on top of each other.. cementing their place! But those equations seldom go wrong for all sides?

NJ: Don’t waste your breath

NJ : None of what we DISCUSS.. None of what appears in TV channels!!

WR : REVOLUTION then??? RAM MANDIR? RIGHT WING HYPER HINDUS! Then!! Guessed it!

NJ: Grief demands an answer, but sometimes there isn’t one.

WR: You have a NETFLIX account

NJ: duh!

WR: Who is ORCHESTRATING THIS then!??!??! GIVE me a NAME!!!

NJ: virtue is an “other-generated” good in that it derives its value from happiness, precisely from its conduciveness to happiness

WR: Socrates?

WR: There’s nothing Nietzsche couldn’t teach ya ’bout the raising of the wrist,
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.

NJ: You are excited NOW! Look at you!

WR: So it’s PEOPLE RECOILING to their OLD HABITS!!!??

NJ : BINGO!

WR: i feel like PULLING my HAIR!!

NJ: go on!!!

WR: So, People actually want the OLD WORLD BACK but they don’t WANT ALTRUISTIC DEVELOPMENT, good ROADS, etc.,!

NJ: Well! not that easy!

WR: What did they want then?

NJ: you tell me.. genius !

WR: They don’t like RAHUL GANDHI.. THEY LIKE @narendramodi .. they want GOOD ROADS.. They want BANKING SECTOR.. They want NO CORRUPTION

NJ : YESS

WR: BUT won’t vote @narendramodi !

NJ: I need to go now..

WR: Ok! ok! wait.. please.. i have just started!

WR: so.. they want SOMETHING..!

NJ: NOT ACCHEDIN.. it’s already was,is !!! OLD STORY

WR: You are saying this!!!

WR: so ACCHEDIN is GRANTED, ACCEPTED..

NJ: Next version of APPLE phone mate!! GIVE ME SOMETHING NEW!!!

WR: POOREST OF the POOR.. MIDDLE CLASS.. CAPITALISTS..

NJ: That’s for students.. grow up

WR: OK! won’t ask about RAFALE..both sides know COURTS won’t HANG anyone or GONIG TO JAIL IS NOT A TABOO!

NJ: Exactly!!!

WR: What’s the next version of APPLE then????

NJ: you tell me!!!

WR: so GDP.. INDEXES .. etc do not matter.. WHAT’S IN IT FOR me FOR EVERYONE?????

NJ: i have casted one VOTE.. What will YOU GIVE ME?

WR: It’s 1.3 billion ..

NJ: It’s not a SOCIALIST election! Even TN can’t be won with freebies now!

WR: JESUS!!!

WR: so RAM MANDIR?

NJ : hahahaah!! COURTS won’t deliver any verdict.. They don’t like MODI..

WR: That’s another support base gone?

NJ: That was the plan from 44 seats!

WR: WICKEDddddddd

WR: What does it take for everyone to get back to work?

NJ : New CONTRACTS.. ASSURED ROI for next 5 years.. NO CORRUPTION should HIT THEM!

WR: That’s GRAFT all over!

NJ: Business decision that they have to make!

WR: Is it not DEMOCRACY!

NJ: LOL

WR : All the good work of @narendramodi .. then?

NJ: People will LOVE HIM as their family.. FAMILY is different from BUSINESS!!!

WR: So is MEDIA backing RAHUL then?

NJ : Business decision!

WR : REGIONAL parties?

NJ: Duh!!!!

WR: got ya! Congress played 2nd fiddle in STATES and made sure none of them come to CENTRE!!!

NJ: wow!

WR: Must be a rude shock for BHAKTS!

NJ: They don’t know who amongst themselves didn’t VOTE for MODI!!!

WR: NOTA brigade..!

NJ: They were never in scene

WR: What’s the carrot then?

NJ: You ask a lot of Questions

WR: I am learning to read you from the opposite!!!

NJ: Don’t mistake a “cyclical trend” as an “infinite direction.”

WR: What is the #exitpolls were a RED HERRING?

NJ: We in MSM wish that @narendramodi is defeated

WR: Why?

NJ: Don’t get me started again!

WR: last one.. please..

NJ : SORRY!! got to go!!!!

WR: quick one!

NJ : See you 11 December 2018!!!!!

WR: Let me start my article.. thanks

After thoughts:

5 state elections of 2018 is considered as Semi-finals and Loksabha elections 2019 is considered as finals. #Exitpolls started getting telecasted before the last vote was cast. Needless to expect anything better MSM but they wrote the epitaph and buried Modi wave.

In this article, an attempt is made to reflect the people’s ambitions and mindset on development, etc., versus political offerings vs media’s business interests and may be judicial non-accountability?

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