I am a sepoy. I am disappointed. Very disappointed at the trajectory that India has taken since 2014.
Earlier India was a nice country. They played nice with a country 1/8th its size. They crawled when asked to bend. They exchanged dossiers nicely. And came to peace conferences. They gave special status to Kashmir which ensured that the place was always on the boil. I wrote fancy strategy pieces for a website and got paid for the crap I peddled. I held fancy chairs because I had influence. (Even I got to go to peace conferences on a first class ticket and free shopping.) They took terrorist attacks on their chin. What has happened to the ahimsa?
They had these lovely mountain roads which broke down often – so romantique you see. But now the Mudi has built big bad 4 lane roads over them. Thank god for landslides, that enable me to take a few pictures and write about the virtues of leaving hilly regions undeveloped. And the Chinese might read that article and give me a trip to Beijing.
And Covid- that article I wrote on India mismanaging wave 1 was too early. I should have written it for wave 2. But luckily, I was able to get good pictures of Hindu crematoriums and bodies burning. And just as I wrote an oped on why India should use and propagate Chinese vaccines, these nincompoops went ahead and got not just one but two vaccines locally produced.
I was just in the process of writing a book about Jacaranda (or was it Jacintha) ardently to get a free trip to New Zealand, but they have now gone ahead and vaccinated two New Zealands in a day. Maybe I should write a story on why vaccinating so fast is hazardous? Let me google that. Meanwhile I am waiting at the beach waiting for the third wave to hit and then I will press send on the 3 doomsday article I have written.
And oh, how could I forget…Aug 14 is now Partition Horror Remembrance day – I mean, whatever happened to the bonhomie with Pakistan yaar. We were just celebrating the amazing similarities we have across the border at every single track 2 and this has been ruined by the Mudi. I had a field day talking about the nation building Mughals and look at them – there is an entire subaltern movement discreting them for everything but tombs.
There are these white guys who are sure India is an electoral autocracy and I am urging these brown Indians to learn and understand from those great people but somehow they dont seem to agree. So what if I live in Milan? I cry for my old India.
Oh wait. The Taliban just took over Afghanistan – wait, let me type off an article on the 20 billion dollar lost there and how India backed the wrong horse. Phew. Thank god for small mercies.
The UP elections are coming. Should rehash some of my old articles on caste and send it across. I am a sepoy. I must never forget that.