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Yours dramatically, Indian opposition

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Stuti S.
Mostly Harmless.

Following the latest walkout staged by the opposition as Ranjan Gogoi, ex-CJI of India took oath in Rajya Sabha, I wonder if all the national opposition can do for us anymore, is deliver mediocre drama performances.

Indian opposition’s dismal attempts at live-theatre can often be witnessed in the Well of the House, from where they unleash their vocal cords without warning on unsuspecting citizens glued to their television screens keen on catching the proceedings. Some outdated verses like Tanashaahi nahi chalegi or even the most controversial albeit plagiarised Jo Hitler ki chaal chalega, woh Hitler ki maut marega can often be heard in the temple of democracy, their courtesy.

However abysmal the dramatics, the opposition is exceptionally talented in passing judgements without as much as peeping at the concept of self-introspection. From the underrated online troll, Mr Rahul Gandhi, whose Twitter taunts blow out of proportions this country’s worst fears without single conceivable advice to offer for repair to the recurring self-goals from some of Congress’s Twitter handles one of which recently declared that Modi is letting COVID-19 situation get graver to deflect attention from the ailing economy.

It is another matter that as a responsible opposition, you’d think they’d have fought their elections on these issues they claim Modi is ignoring instead of the fictitious Rafale scam or the weak “Chowkidaar Chor Hai” campaign. Yet this is what we get, virtual-world trolls for competent opponents.

And it seems these dramatic politicians will never learn from their blunders, despite the renewed booing by the spectating public. Apparently, they’re fighting for what is “correct” because the massive mandate the prime minister received was given by hoodwinked and naive citizens to the “incorrect” fascist wizard.

This national opposition never misses out on opportunities. Since 2014, in each unrest that this country suffered, they spotted only pretexts they could exploit to play politics. They blamed this government’s ideology (the same which came back to power a second time), frequently crossing limits to dishonour the prime minister and home minister. As a last resort to remain relevant, perhaps because not all political strategies bring hate to India, they systematically drove full-scale attacks against the nation to win unpopular press internationally even if it meant validating fake news, with the help of their faithful and more frustrated than ever ecosystem. The most recent design being that of North-East Delhi riots, where international reports were given more importance by them as some of their own journalists had no option but to let them down and admit that it was not a pogrom. All hail social media!

At one point our dramatists even offered Shayari but no constructive criticism, especially where the government genuinely fell short, like its economic policies. They opposed but for the sake of it. They supported unconstitutional and undemocratic protests on the roads, fanned communal sentiments and provided cover fire to anti-national and Islamist elements. The latter remains an active threat to national security and are also, typically observed performing the victim under costumes of dissent and revolution. Recently, Congress party’s senior leader Mr Kapil Sibal was tricked by himself into admission in the parliament (that they never claimed CAA strips any Indian of citizenship) which caused their months’ old architecture called a moral high ground come crashing down rather anticlimactically. 

This is the approach our opposition prefers to further its political ends; to make an issue where none exists, by wildly grasping at anything that remotely relates to the ruling party’s anti-Muslim and anti-democracy image. 

But coming back to the parliament, it has witnessed possibly some of the funniest moments of comedy courtesy the opposition with leader Adhir Ranjan Chowdhary’s hands defeating all stage props, karate-ing in all directions, proclaiming every resolution of this government apocalyptic for the ‘idea of India’. 

Indeed, the opposition regularly exhibits prime concerns about saving our country from a fascist government in the parliament with their most revered head even asking a question or two before disappearing for his much-deserved break outside India. They use the whole day tabling incomplete data on the floor of the House, reprimanding centre’s actions yet surprise–stage a walkout within minutes of the home minister getting up to address their anxieties one after other. 

Why these improvised trips to the backstage by our hyper-concerned national opposition? Perhaps there is something worse than even the idea of India getting destroyed which will make them stay back long enough to counter the home minister’s “lies”, on record? 

But of course, they have dedicated online portals to handle such vacuum and to back their brave act. While we’re on that, the government can corrupt “Godi media” to raise pro-government voices, but god forbid if someone insinuates that the opposition may be backing editors of some selective news/fact-checking portals to become messengers of anti-government theories.

Oh, whither Indian opposition? A few members may have dared to deviate from this course laid out by their regina, but that’s not sufficient to bring about a change, chiefly because they don’t take explicit stands on national issues consistently. After Scindia joining the enemy camp, all eyes were locked on Pilot. One doesn’t predict him joining the BJP, but will he show the courage to exit a political party slash part-time NGO slash dramatics society which will never let him realise his potential lest he overtakes the heir? Besides, for all we know, Abhishek Manu Singhvi’s Population Control Bill or Jairam Ramesh’s Uniform Civil Code push is but an eyewash to keep the absurd argument alive that the opposition is in fact, still not as far driven to the left, as we believe. 

Until then, on the one hand, the Indian opposition will employ their over ground workers for the dirty job of keeping their vile narrative war alive while themselves combating this government on anything but pertinent matters and sending the citizens of this country to slumber with their dramatic productions, playing all parts but the one entrusted to them. On the other, they’ll continue serving their matriarch while labouring to advance the prince’s vocation of a part-time politician, even if it costs this nation a competent opposition.

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Stuti S.
Mostly Harmless.

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